The Window Between Two Realities - Doki Doki Literature Club
by razergreens
Summary: The story of how a green-eyed girl helped a certain someone deal with his depression...
1. Chapter 1

_Do you ever feel like someone's watching you?"_

 _"Not really."_

 _"Hmm...maybe...maybe it's just me."_

I look at Monika with a puzzled expression as she looks down at her homework in distress, while twirling her pen. Something seems to be off with her today... another existential crisis again? No, that can't be it. She seems worried, which is quite rare considering the events that occurred this past week. I try to remember everything we went through in the past, looking for something that she could be worried about. The festival...no that can't be it...the club...no, we sorted that out months ago...maybe its our relationship?

 _"Yeah...our relationship..."_ I mutter.

 _"Sorry?,"_ Monika asks while looking up.

 _"Our relationship. I-is that what you're worried about?,"_ I hesitantly ask.

 _"Worried?"_ She gives a small giggle at my question. _"No, its just...I had a weird feeling just then.''_

 _"Oh?,"_ I inquire.

 _"I-it's really nothing to worry about sweetie!,"_ she says while getting up from her seat. " _Okay everyone! It's time to share poems!"_

Our conversation repeats in my head, leaving me mildly curious. No, I've never felt someone watching me before...why would it happen now? I shake my head and decide to drop it, making a mental note in my head to ask her at home. Besides, I think I'm excited to show Sayori my poem today!

 _"Hey Caleb!,"_ a voice exclaims from my right. _"I know you're_ _**dying**_ _to read my poem right?"_

 _"If you spent enough effort on it I guess...,"_ I crack while holding her torn out sheet of paper with hints of maple syrup on the edges. " _Gee, I really wonder when you wrote this!"_

 _"Well..well lets see yours meanie!,"_ she retorts while snatching my poem from my hands. She skims the slightly crumpled sheet of paper and smirks. " _Heh, huh...this is about her isn't it?~"_

 _"W-well, i-its about a girl...? "_

 _"Oooo!_ ~ _"_ she playfully exclaims. _"I wonder who has 'emerald gems' in this club?"_

Darn it. I knew I shouldn't have wrote about Monika. Too obvious.

For the next hour or so we continue sharing, complimenting and critiquing each other's poems, before packing up and leaving. As always Sayori, Monika and I buy something from the vending machine before heading home. Well...I buy something from the vending machine, and then receive a promise from them that they'll pay me back in the future.

 _"Thanks Calee!~,"_ Monika gleefully says with a mouthful of chocolate-chip cookie. _"If you ever need help with your rent, you know who to call!"_

 _"And if you ever need help on your homework-,"_ Sayori says while crunching on chips. _" -I'll be right next door!"_

 _"Sigh..at this rate I don't think I'll be able to even afford_ _to go to school anymore,"_ I mutter while stealing some of Sayori's chips.

 _"H-hey!," she whines as she tries to take the chip back from my hands._

 _"I'll remember to bring some home-cooked stuff for all of us tomorrow, you know, for the sake of your wallet~,"_ Monika whispers in my ear.

The three of us walk to our homes while chatting and arguing about anime, video games and who the best writers are. Its so...stupid but it feels like we're alive now. Like we're actual happy human beings. Now all I can hope for is that it stays that way, and that our problems don't become insane. Like before.

I receive a crippling bear hug from Sayori before she runs off towards her house, while Monika and I walk up to the front door of ours. Its routine at this point; I cook, she showers, I shower, she finishes what I cooked, we eat, complete homework, write poems and both jump into bed. Arguably my most favorite and relaxing thing to do because of how her hair brushes against my chest...and how it really tickles when -

 _"Caleb..."_

 _"Uh...yeah?,"_ I whisper.

 _"I-I'm...I'm having that feeling again."_

 _"I don't think anyone's watching..."_

I can feel her shudder in my arms, beneath the blanket.

 _"No. Someone is watching us."_

 _"Who?"_

She looks up into my eyes on the verge of tears. Our eyes meet for a solid minute before she hesitantly opens her mouth to say something,

 _"Are...are you real?"_

 _"I-I'm pretty sure of it..."_

She stares again while gently caressing my cheeks and chin.

 _"Monika...you're freaking me out."_

 _"Y-you're freaking me out Caleb."_

 _"What?"_

 _"Do you remember when Sayori confessed her love to you?"_

 _"Yeah, and then uh...we saved her from killing herself. Right?"_

She lets out an audible gasp after my statement.

 _"W-What about Yuri? And Natsuki? What about them?,"_ her voice getting gradually louder.

 _"We were there when it all happened Monika,"_ I say. _"Don't you remember? We stopped Yuri from stabbing herself. We stopped Natsuki from err...dying..."_

 _"Thats not how I remember it."_

 _"Are you okay?"_

 _"Caleb...Sayori h-hung herself. Yuri stabbed herself, and...and..."_

Her voice trails off. She buries her face in my chest and sobs. I wrap my arms around her and as her cries slowly get quieter, I find myself...falling...asleep...with..her...


	2. Chapter 2

My eyes open to the ever so familiar sight of sunlight hitting my face through the breakers...blinders? Whatever they're called. Nevertheless, a helpful scene with helps me get out of bed and off to school with Monika. Wait...where is Monika? My eyes scan around my room for any traces of her existing; clothes, ribbons, but all I see are remains from our junk food binges while writing poems. She must be downstairs making breakfast or something. I get out of bed and make my way downstairs, in doubt that something happened while we were asleep. All I remember from last night was her incoherently rambling on about how Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri died; something I can't even imagine happening. I - We saved them all...right? Monika and I?

I hear my phone ringing upstairs, and I quickly go to pick it up.

 _"Hello? Caleb?"_

 _"Hey Mon. Where are you?"_

 _"Heh-heh, ermm, sorry about this but uhh...I sort of went over to Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri's homes to check up on them."_

 _"How are they?"_

A brief silence occurs between us.

 _"T-They are alive? Right?"_

 _"...huh? Yeah, yeah they're okay._

 _"Okay...that's good."_

 _"Yeah."_

 _"Soo, I'll see you at school then?"_

 _"Sure darling! See you at school~"_

 _"Alright. Bye Mon..."_

The call ends, leaving me with a small thought in my mind that Monika may be hiding something. Well...if she is, then I guess its her decision to tell everyone then. I ignore the thought and proceed with my morning ritual to go to school. After ten minutes in the bathroom, kitchen and bedroom, I lock the door behind me and make my way to school to-

 _"Heeeyyyyyyy!"_

I turn around to see Sayori running up towards me, huffing and out of breath.

 _"You know its not...very nice to...make a lady...run like that Caleb...,"_ she gasps.

 _"Maybe if you got out of bed earlier...,"_ I suggest while patting her head. _"You would be in front of me next time~"_

 _"...Whew! Hey...did Monika come by your house as well yesterday?,"_ Sayori asks, her breathing returning to normal.

 _"Uhh...no,"_ I mutter, knowing full well that she isn't aware that Monika and I live together. I'll...I'll tell her at school.

 _"Oh. Well apparently Yuri and Natsuki had her come by at like two in the morning yesterday,"_ she announces. Her tone becomes lower and she starts acting like a police officer. _"Know anything?"_

 _"Definitely not detective!,"_ I reply matching her tone. _"Although she may have err...imagined something last night...which may be the reason she checked up on you guys."_

 _"Any idea what she imagined?,"_ she asks.

Gulp. I think my heart skipped a beat just from imagining what may have happened.

 _"W-Why not ask Monika?,"_ I stutter.

 _"Fine, but you better feed me until we meet in the club,"_ she yelps. _"We can't be detectives on an empty stomach..."_

We hear the school bell and agree to meet up at recess to exchange food and snacks. In the meanwhile, I look around for a specific room...room 3A, 3B...here it is. I turn the corner and peek in the classroom, where I see Monika's beautiful, signature green eyes diverting their attention of a book, and onto mine.

 _"Hey Calee!~,"_ Monika cheerfully says. _"Come to share snacks with me? Sweetheart...you shouldn't have!~"_

 _"Are...are you feeling okay?,"_ I ask while throwing her a bag of pretzels. _"I mean...two in the morning..."_

 _"Of course! Well, sort of. I was feeling a bit sleepy after checking up on Yuri so she let me crash at her place; but other than that I'm fantastic!"_

 _"How was she? And the rest of the group?,"_ I ask with concern. _"I hope they're not having their old problems again..."_

 _"Haha...yeah...no...they're fine! Looks like I am going a bit paranoid huh?,"_ she says while giving me a smile.

 _"Well...okay. But just like...wake me up next time okay?,"_ I request.

 _"Sure honey! Sorry about that by the way~haha..."_

I look at her smiling, cheerful face with suspicion before slowly backing out of the entrance. I really hope something isn't wrong, otherwise...otherwise we'll have to sacrifice so much for them again.


	3. Chapter 3

I remember every detail of it. I wish I could forget that week. A series of violent and difficult problems we had to fix, all in the span of three days. One for each victim. I remember holding her up while Monika cut the ropes. I remember the hint of blood on the tip of the knife that fell to the ground. I remember...remember...wait. No I don't. How did she...

 _"M-Monika,"_ I whisper to my right. _"Don't take this the wrong way but..."_

 _"Hmm?"_

 _"Erm...how did we save Natsuki?"_

 _"Oh silly. How could you forget? We-"_

Her eyes widen as she looks off into the distance.

 _"W-We..."_

 _"I know right?,"_ I say, hoping she didn't know either.

She continues looking off into the distance, at our school's oval.

 _"Monika?,"_ I ask. _"Are you okay?"_

 _"O-Of course...you wouldn't have known..,"_ Monika finally starts.

 _"But you don't know either right?,"_ I add.

 _"Yeah...that's weird..."_

She continues staring forward for another minute before shaking her head and wrapping her arms around me.

 _"We should get to class."_

 _"Wait but-"_

 _"Now."_

She looks into my eyes and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

 _"I promise you...we will talk about this at home. Okay?"_

I give a small nod and she smiles. She lets go of my hand and speed walks to her class, and I do the same in the opposite direction. My thoughts run rampant after that conversation. I sit down in my class and for the while, it seems as if time sped up while I was thinking and theorizing on the near misses of our past and the unexplained gaps in my memories. Oh boy could I recall lots of gaps. I remember being in the literature club classroom...holding Yuri as she regained her calm after trying to stab herself, and then waking up in my room five days later, to a completely normal and problem-free life. I remember cherishing the regained heartbeat of Sayori after the most tense two minutes of my life, but no happy memories of me comforting and being her best friend after she got better.

Its as if I just...woke up here. In this perfect world, even if I can recall us getting better after their incidents. Oh dear god...my head...

I swiftly get up from my seat and run to the bathroom.

I empty the contents of my recess into the toilet.

I stare off into space for a while before it hits me. My moment of clarity.

Is that what really happened? No...it couldn't be. How could she die in my memory, but live in my reality?


	4. Chapter 4

_"Yuri...I know that we saved Sayori from hanging herself but...why can I remember the other outcome? Why can't I remember Natsuki or...you dying..."_

 _"W-Well, the human mind can be fragile. Replacing stressful memories with distorted ones may be the only defense it has."_

 _"Distortions...an exception has occurred...file...file...script... -"_

 _"-line 307."_

 _..._

 _"Monika?"_

 _"H-How? How can we have imagined the same distorted image?"_

 _"Its not distorted. We both saw what we saw."_

 **O҉̨̳̪̫̲͇̝̖̻h̡͇͓̮͔͕̮̗̕̕͢ͅ ͏̧̛̞̜̺̪̰̪̟̣̩͔̜̭̻́͝ͅn̛̰͎̯̳͞ó̶͜҉̵͓̳̤̼̭̘͕̜͍̪̖͎̩̫̘̗̥̗ͅ.̴̨̨̲͖̥̦͘̕.̴̧̣͙͔͡.̟͖̠̤̰̱͎̻̼̯͍̗̪̝̲̯͉̭̰́͜͟**

I wipe some vomit off my chin using my sleeve, and prop myself up against Yuri's shoulder.

 _"Monika...Caleb...I think we should go,"_ she suggests.

I look back before exiting the bathroom, to see Monika, staring at the wall.

 _"M-Monika?,"_ I say.

 _"I'll be out in a minute."_ Her voice is quiet.

Yuri and I nod, and shamble outside, looking for a table or something to rest on.

 **T̷͈̱̺̻̦͔̻̖͝h̵̴̨̠̪̥̰̱͔͞ͅá̮̖̹͖͓͕̺͘͝t̴̡̥̙͙̮͕͍͖̀͝ ̱͙̮͎͚̤̹̥̟̘̱̯̖̤͢ͅẃ̧͚̫̠̹̻̙́͞a̶̢̻̭̺͇̝͢͞ͅͅş̫̩̦͖̥͚͍̗̟̻̠͈̬̲͜͟͞͡n̨̫̱̪̪̟͈͝'͡҉͏̭̞̩͔̱̭͖̲̻̖̺̖̜̲̥͕̹́t̶̡҉̢̪̖̯̹͎̼̟̩͕̺͍̻̙̺͕ͅ ̵̣͚̘̞̻͓̟͈̹̮͇͍̠̕s͕͎̱͍͔̪̹̱̮̫͕͕͈̥͉̟̪̳͘͟u̶̸̸͉͍͕̺̝̠̱̪͙͚͢͢p͏͜͏̶̣͖̰͉̮͚̜͕̜̣͈͓͇̠̞p҉̫͍͕͔̲̰̫̹͔̼̦̟̻̜̼̪͠ͅơ҉͔̝̠̞͕̖͇͕̗͍̞͎̘̮͇͜ͅs̛͏̘̟͇̠͔͓̥͖̥e̷̛̮̪͍͖̟̻̲̘͚͟͢d҉̡͓͎̺͈̬̥͓̲̜̟̠̹̀ ̵̛̣͓̳͍̪͍̺͈͖̞̬̪̱͖̪̕͢͡t͠҉̵̛̰̩̣̣ͅò̶̥̪̼̯̟̲̖͓͖̟̬̩̙͟ ̴͉̱̳̙̯̲̠̕͘͜͠h̢̧̦̙̹̺̼̙̭̫̯̙͉̭̥̳̯͕̕͝͡à̴̴̯͎̟̖͚̱p̜͎͚̲̜͙̘̝̠̣̯͖̙̀͘p̨̛̬̦̟̺̮̹̖̙͈̰̳̬̮̘̥͎̟̗̯͘͜e̵̘̺͎͉̱͢͜͝͞n̴̛̦̣̰.̴͜͝҉̰̱̮̠͉͔̲̘͓̗̙.̸͔̖͎̜̞̲̯͈̯͇̺.̢̡͝͏̬͍̳̣͓̭̹͖̹̮̼̼͉ͅ**

 _"W-What wasn't?"_

...

 _"...hello?"_

Silence. I wait and wait and wait but he never comes back. He never told me what I really did see. He never made our world perfect.

Of course.

He's the God.

We're nothing.

Useless

Things

Who write

Poems.

He can't win. I won't let him. I won't. I won't let him win. After everything we've been through. My love deserves a happy life. Everyone does. They deserve this. I deserve this. Caleb deserves this.

Caleb. Caleb. Caleb.

I wish...I wish we could go back. Before everything. Before the girls. Before Sayori. Before the literature club. That stupid, stupid literature club. Just. Me and you. In a room. Forever. We can do anything. Together. Read books. Write poems that we can share. No one to disturb us. No stupid voice that makes me like this. No one to take you away from me. No-one. No...no-one. No-one...

...

What? Why am I in the bathroom? Did I pass out?

I look at my phone and get surprised at what the time is. Eight in the afternoon. Dozens of missed calls; most of them mainly from Caleb. Oh no. I need to see him. He must be worried. My head spins as I get up. I lean against a stall for a moment, fearing that I might pass out from the sudden motion. I'm okay. No I'm not. Not without my friends. Not without Caleb.

I open the door to the familiar hallway of school. I've never seen it this dark before. Or this cold. Oh man...it's gonna be a pain to find my bag. Using my phone as a source of light, I clumsily open multiple doors to reach the literature club, where I left my bag. Probably underneath the teachers desk. My favorite spot to sit. I go to grab it before leaving the hall, and out onto the school's courtyard to go home. Oh dear...please don't be mad at me.

My phone buzzes in my pocket.

 _"C-Caleb? Darling?"_

I hear muffled crying and sniffles on his end.

 _"M-Monika? Oh thank God! A-Are you okay? Where are you?"_

 _"I'm fine...just...at school. I'll meet you at home okay dear?"_

 _"O-Okay...stay safe..."_

The call ends and I sprint back home, with my bag thudding my back as I go. I slowly adapt to the freezing air and create mists as I run. Don't stop running.

The pitter-patter of footsteps slow down as I reach my street. I make a beeline for the house.

My phone buzzes in my pocket again.

 _"Caleb, I'm almost home don't worry..."_

 _"MONIKA."_

I jump at the sound of Natsuki's voice.

 _"WHERE. THE FUCK. ARE YOU."_ she growls with a hint of concern.

 _"I'm...almost home?"_

I hear Natsuki audibly sigh through the phone.

 _"Don't you ever scare us again like that dude...we were worried you got kidnapped or something!,"_ she says while laughing a bit.

 _"Yeah...I-wait,_ _**we**_ _?"_

 _"...uh oh. Gotta go. Get home safe okay?"_

The call abruptly ends.

I shove the phone down my pocket and reach for my keys while walking up to the front door. Through one fluid and practiced motion, the door unlocks and my face gets hit with a delicious aroma of food. My mouth waters as I lay down my bag and walk to the kitchen. He turns around and smiles, looking at me with relief before slowly moving towards me for a hug. I do the same.

 _"I scared you...didn't I?~"_ I tease.

He laughs slightly in my shoulder.

 _"...dear God...you're such an jerk!~"_

I hold him tighter and breathe in his scent. Combined with the pleasing aroma surrounding the kitchen, I start to experience this weird feeling in my chest...like nothing in the entire world could make me more happy than I am right now, engulfed in his arms. Engulfed in his aura and the scent of...smoke?

I look over his shoulder to see the stir fries he was cooking start to smolder. His eyes widen in embarrassment and he releases me to stop the food from burning. You...cute little...thing you...

 _"Heh-heh...a-are you hungry?,"_ Calee says while taking the burning pan off the stove.

I remain still, staring at his cute, embarrassed face while he does some cooking stuff and laughs awkwardly. My knees wobble a bit and I can feel the redness flowing to my cheeks...

Please...don't take him away.

I...I love him. So, so much.


	5. Chapter 5

I gaze into his eyes opposite me from the table, sipping green tea after our amazing home-cooked meal. I can't. I can't stop smiling!...Is this normal? I probably look really stupid right now. Grinning like a weird, stupid-

"You...have the most beautiful smile...you know that?," Calee says with a mocking smile.

 _"Y-yeah? W-Well...you...you..."_

Darn it! Just say something nice back. Don't be weird...I look up at his sparkling eyes and quickly look down. He's looking at me what do I do...

 _"You have p-pretty eyes! There...I did it!~"_

 _"Haha...uh...thanks Monnie..y-you too..,"_ he nervously says.

I sip my tea while still smiling like a dork and look outside to create some conversation. I think I'm doing it right...

 **Tel̪̤̳̣̮l͍̻͇̭̭̜ ͉͉͔̰͞h͞i̴m͏̮̹̯ ̠̟͓̞̺ẁh͔̱͖̮a̪̳͙̘͠t̝̳̮͈̀ ̴̺͕̦̬̼̼̤y͕̤̰o̝͜u ̡̯r͈̻̻̪̯̤̝e̡̳͔̮͙͙̜̫m̶̰̜e̮͕m̰̗͡b͕̠e̪̣̘r̖̯͇̖͠ͅ.̙̦̟ ҉̠̹̜̦**

 _"Hey...I just wanted to say. Thanks for dinner. I-I enjoyed your presence~,"_ I say quietly.

 _"No problem. I enjoyed your...erm...company as well~haha..."_

 _"Can I ask you something...lovely?_

 _"Sure..."_

 _"What...what did you first think of when you first saw me?"_

 **P̻͇͉̜͕͍͔le̩͚a͙͉̜̰̩̩͔s̵̗̮͉e̙̹̼͚,̯ ̰t̶͈̞̤͙̹̘̱e̟͉l͖̪͙ļ̩͍̘̱ ̛͕h̫̟̝̲i̯̖̞̝̤m̻̠͖̼ ̥͈wh̺͘a̗̗t̷ ͙̱͉̣̗̜́y̭̙͓̯̩o͖̺̘̣͍͉͘u̬ r̨̰͉̹̣̺͍͉e͍̲̮m̝̗̺em͍̞̼̻b̘͙͉er̬͙̭̻̲̯͟.͕͎ ̩H̳̭̣̳͈̣i̧͔͙̥s̬ ̤͚͍̫̲͍̹l͕̙͍̖̪̯̳i͍̫̼̞̥̺f̟͘e̘̳͉̻͍͘ ̴̳̟̗̬͔̗̹i͓͙̗͚̻̤͝s̙̺̱̱̪̳̯ ̬͙̺o̷͈̘n̴̳̳̰ ̯t̬͎̩̼̱ḥ̸̟̥̮ẹ̬̭̘̬͉̘ ̬̥̤͓̟̱͖l͎i̻̯̼n͖̼̞̰̭̱̼͘e̦̞̭̙..̥.̯̭̘̦**

 _"STOP."_

 _"Huh?"_

I rest my head on the table, letting my hair droop down to my chair. I hear Calee get up from his chair and walk near me to-

 **C͇ͥͮ͆ͨ̀̚a̐͛̅̒̚l͍̝̞̈̑̎̏ͭͬè̞̯̣̘̣͂͛̈̏ͅb͎̬̞̼͇̮ͮ͡ ̶͔̀ͨ̐ͫ̌͗ͤẉ̼͖̜̺̰̟̆i̺̭̯̠̞͙̍ͧ̅̄͂̆̃l̘̠̄̉͊̉͜l͉̗̤͉̖͔̆̕ ͊͏͕͕d͚͐͘i̡͎͖̝̝̖̍̿̔ͮ͐͛e̵̬̬͙̙̖̰̙ ͩͥ̂̑ͨͩ̀i̯͓̜͉̽̍̓̒f͖̙̰̖ͬ̽ͫ́͊̈́͞ ̴̹̜ͅy̲̋̐o̤͔̹̖̝͉̺ͣ̈́̉ͪu͍͓̬͍ͥ́ͩ͆̃̆͡ͅ ̡͎̫̤̰̟̠͉ͦ̆d̵̤̳̮̮o͇͒̐n̙̮̞̩͉̿̒'̧̻͔̜̩͎ͩ͐̋̚̚ͅt͙̔́ ̢͍̲̳̻ͫ́ͮͧ̄̊̀d̲͙͙͈̖̳͍̀̃̎̌̄̓̅oͭ̌̈́ͨͬ̔ ̹̹̲w͛͒ͯḣ̞͖̗̱̲͖̞a̵̭̘t̛ ̛͎͕͓͔̭̘ͥ̅ͬ̚I ͔͖̖͚̬͎͎̇̏̎̈́̚š͓̾a̸͚͓̘͇ͤͨ̊̔̎͌y̸̲̦͍ͥ.̳ͤ̆͂́ ̦̮̜͉̞̐͝**

 _"SHUT THE FUCK UP! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LET US BE HAPPY?!"_

 _..._

I slowly sit back down and look over at the now standing Caleb, who looks at me with fear...and concern.

 _"I'll...I'll get ready for bed,"_ he whispers as he slowly walks upstairs to his room. _"Y-you coming?"_

 _"Caleb...I'm sorry. I really have gone crazy haven't I..."_

He shambles over to me, holds both my hands and nervously looks me in the eyes.

 _"Monika...whatever problems you're facing...we'll deal with it_ _**together**_ _. R-Right?"_

 _"...please don't die on me..."_

 _"I promise - that will never happen...,"_ he whispers as he wraps his warm arms around me.

Through his now tear-soaked sweater, I manage to pull a small smile.

 _"Promise?,"_ I whisper sadly with a glimmer of hope.

 _"Promise."_ he says as he wraps his pinky-finger around mine. **e̶̛e͏͘͟͡e̴̵̡͟è̕͞e̢̕e͝҉e҉̨͢é͢͠e̢̡̕e̶͘͟͜͠é̶̕͝͞e̢e̶̴͜ȩé͜é̢͏̶e̕͏̀҉e͏̧́͝e̢̕͜e̵̷e̛͜e̢̢e͘͢͠e̶͘͘͞ȩ̸͏e̸̡̧̢e̶̛̛͢͠**

 _ **"**_ _G-Good. Stay away from sharp things then...and rope..."_

 _"But...but I need those things."_

I smile even more through the tears as we shuffle towards the couch and cuddle underneath a blanket.

 _..._

I love him. I love this. Nothing could make me...more happier.

 _"And if he tries to take him away from me...he will die a slow and painful death."_

 _"W-What!?,"_ he exclaims as he looks at me in shock.

 _"...what? Did...d-did I say that out loud? Haha...sorry..."_

I rest my eyes for a bit on his cozy, warm torso, wrapped in his arms like a sushi roll.

The tingling throughout my body increases and I mentally pinch myself to get it to stop.

Its so weird and annoying...and...awesome. I wish it could never stop actually. For as long as we live...


	6. Chapter 6

_"Distortions."_

 _"An exception has occurred."_

 _" ..."_

 _"Line 307."_

We look up at the ceiling as we try and figure out why this past week has been so...weird. Maybe its because of the slight probability that everything we remember may not have actually happened.

Monika and I definitely has had moments of confusion when recalling things from the past, but how could we forget a couple of life-changing moments written only in the past month or so? Sigh. I just hope we can get back to our normal life soon...maybe have a picnic and drink some wine...get married...have kids...and grow old together...or something like that.

 _"Here!~,"_ she says while handing me a sheet of paper and a pen. _"We're gonna write down everything we know about both my past and your past - and compare the two!"_

 _"So we can...?"_

 _"So we can see if we made up some memories or not!~"_

I turn around and begin writing on the coffee table next to the couch, while she gets up and writes on the kitchen counter. Everything I know about me, and everything I know about her...

I make a fairly short list of both our history together, including pets, family members, favorite food, places and a slew of random facts.

We lay both the papers on the coffee table, flicking back and forth between papers - reading the inconsistencies we claim to know in our heads.

 _"...I'm fairly certain I never owned a house dear."_

 _"Huh. So that one time you went home to do 'homework' was either a lie, or completely made up?"_

 _"Yup."_

As we compare the two, I hear Yuri and Natsuki's voice at the front door. We quickly adjust our clothes and furniture a bit before opening the door to the duo.

 _"Geez, its about time,"_ Natsuki sarcastically whined.

 _"T-That's not very nice Natsuki,"_ Yuri murmured to her. _"We are guests..."_

I look down at her hands which are cradling a small box with colorful flora decorated all around. She gestured the box towards me and I hesitantly accepted, acting like we're both complete strangers.

 _"You know...you guys don't need to bring gifts to come over,"_ I said with a smile.

 _"That's what I told Yuri, but she insisted that it's common courtesy or something to bring gifts when entering one's house,"_ Natsuki yapped while taking off her shoes. _"I mean, its not like we don't know each other fairly well after months of literature clubbing!~"_

 _"Well...I had more than enough tea to share so..."_

Tea? I open the lid and smell the pleasing scent of a type of tea I don't recognize.

 _"Ahem...uh...dried Chrysanthemum flowers. Sort of alerts and rejuvenates your senses~"_

I smile politely and gesture for Yuri to come in, while Natsuki already made herself comfortable; laying upside down on the couch next to Monika.

 _"I'm glad to see someone made it home safe,"_ Natsuki teased as she twirled the club president's hair. _"Hey, is Caleb a good sleeping buddy?"_

 _"Y-Yeah...I guess...he's lovely,"_ Monika answers while trying to act natural.

 _"Lovely? I can tell that you want to do stuff to him Monika!~,"_ Natsuki joyfully teases.

 _"I...I...guess...I mean - you know if that's okay with him right? Ahehe..."_

I can't help but blush a little from what Natsuki's implying. I walk past them to turn on the stove and cook some food.

 _"You better treat her right Caleb! Otherwise..."_ Natsuki threatens while she rolls her sleeve up and hits her fists together. Yikes.

I nod while giving a panicked smile, and quickly turn around to make some omelets on the stove. While the pan gets hot, I decide to use the kettle to try some of Yuri's tea. It'll make great for this occasion. Yuri's reading. Natsuki's teasing. Monika's diverting her attention to the papers. It all seems too...real. No...more like an illusion of some sorts. I hope I never see beyond that illusion. This is all too perfect.

In a cheerful mood, I whisk the eggs into a yellow syrup in a bowl, sprinkling salt, pepper and a whole arrangement of other spices as well. The mixture makes a satisfying _'sssss'_ sound when I pour it on the hot pan. Lovely~ I skip over to the kettle and pour boiling water in a jug strained with Yuri's tea leaves. I allow the flavor to spread throughout the hot water before pouring it into five teacups. I bring the omelets and teacups over to the table everyone's sitting around.

 _"What are you two moaning about?,"_ I ask while carefully setting the tray of cups and plates on the coffee table.

 _"Mon-ika here says she first met you in sixth grade,"_ Natsuki starts. _"Which I know is BS because I went to the same school as you and I never saw Monika anywhere!~"_

 _"What?,"_ Monika and I say in unison.

 _"First of all...we never went to the same primary school before,"_ I clarify. _"and second...we met when the teacher put us together for a project."_

Monika lets out a sigh and picks up the two papers on the coffee table.

 _"Sigh...this is why we wrote our memories down!~,"_ she says while looking at Natsuki and I. _"We clearly have some contradicting memories we need to clear up~"_

I pass Yuri a teacup and a plate of omelet.

 _"Thank you,"_ she says gently. _"Enjoy the tea."_

I end up with a spare meal after everyone has received one. _"Idiot..."_ I think. I've gotten so used to Sayori being here with the club that I've started to take her presence for granted.

I reach for the home phone on the wall and dial Sayori's number, which remained the same for five years, and which I memorized down to the digit.

 _"Hello?"_

 _"Hey where are you?,"_ I ask casually. _"It's kind of weird not having anyone to break up Natsuki's arguments with Monika."_

 _"They're at your place?,"_ Sayori asks.

 _"Yeah."_

 _"That's so cool! What's the occasion?"_

 _"Well, Monika and I were just hanging - err...c-chilling out at my place...and Natsuki and Yuri sort of just...showed up."_ I stutter while picturing something I want to forget. _"Come over; I made tea!"_

 _"...umm...it's...it's okay actually~I'm watching this really good anime...just have fun without me!"_

 _"Can I at least drop off the omelet I made at your doorstep?"_

 _"I dunnooo...leave it on the kitchen~"_

 _"Alright. Enjoy your anime!"_

 _"Enjoy Monika's presence!~,"_ she says and adds kissing sounds.

 _"Eew...g-gross..."_

I end the call and make myself comfortable on the sofa. I hear the arguing and teasing of Monika and Natsuki while Yuri and I read books and sip her tea. I really should explain to her shouldn't I? What happened in that bathroom two days ago...God...I feel terrible about it...

I put down the book and look in Yuri's direction.

 _"Y-Yuri?"_

 _"Hmm?"_

Yuri looks up slightly from her novel and tilts her head in my direction.

 _"Do you...do you remember what I told you in the bathroom two days ago?"_

 _"A bit...you saw Sayori hanging herself..."_

 _"Mhm. Well I remember more. I-I hope you could explain what's going on..."_

 _"I'm listening..."_

 _"Erm...I'm fairly certain that what Monika and I remembered actually happened."_

 _"B-Because you two saw the same distortions?"_

 _"Not just that...but it just doesn't add up. If we really_ _**did**_ _save Sayori and you and Natsuki...then...then..."_

 _"Then what?"_

 _"Then how are you three so normal? I don't recall helping any of you three deal with your problems after the suicide attempts. And neither does Monika."_

 _"...yeah...do you remember it like how I do, Caleb?"_

 _"Y-You confessed your love to me..."_

 _"Then...I pulled out the knife..."_

 _"I stopped you..."_

 _"W-Wait...did we both black out after that?"_

 _"I think so..."_

 _"Strange..."_

Yuri and I share worried looks.

 _"I-I think...you saving them was simply your brain trying to protect your sanity."_

 _"...so...I let Sayori die?..."_

 _"W-Wait...but...you just called her."_

I really did let her die didn't I? How could I have been so stupid...she was acting sad and depressed all week, and I did nothing about it...

Maybe...if it wasn't for my talk with Monika beforehand...maybe I could've made it in time.

Made it in time to save her.

 _"Caleb?"_

...

 _"Caleb what's wrong dear?,"_ I hear Monika.

I need to check.

I get up.

I walk outside and onto Sayori's front porch.

The front door won't budge.

I trot into Sayori's backyard. The sliding back door is unlocked. Ha...typical Sayori.

Stop. Stop crying.

Through the glass door I see the glow of the television, reflecting on her face.

Should I? Wouldn't it be like...a breach of privacy or something if I do?

I shake my head, knowing I had this conversation in my head before.

I gently open the door and I smile. She's sitting on the sofa, covered in blankets and plushies, watching some weird robot anime. Caught like a deer in the headlights.

Huh? Why is she hugging me? I-I don't...don't stop...

 _"I will help you."_

Oh my God...her voice brings back precious memories stored deep in the back of my head. I don't care that they're fake. They're mine and that's all that matters. Besides I just made a new one today...clinging to Sayori when I thought she was dead and fake in my reality. I can't help but let my tears drown her left shoulder.

 _"Heh-heh...you...you may need to change your sweater..."_

She looks left to her tear drenched shoulder and shrugs.

 _"Shh...I don't care. You can cry into my sweater."_

Through the tears and sobs, I smile. Slightly. Because I know that...that she is real and alive, in my arms. It definitely wasn't a distorted memory. I really did save her didn't I? No...no, I've got to be dreaming.

She sits me down on the sofa she was on before. I start to cry into her shoulder again, enveloped by the glow of the TV.

 _"L-Lets just watch anime together...okay Caleb? Like last time."_

I start to quietly laugh while hugging her and wiping my face clean of tears. She really is real. I saved her...we saved her I mean.


	7. Chapter 7

She's alive. I can see her right now, sleeping peacefully on the sofa.

I just saw the others at my house...laughing, talking and being...alive.

But they're not...are they?

I don't know anymore.

I'm probably living in a dream or something.

My brain's happy place after their death.

Because the thing I wanted to forget was real.

I can't do this.

I can't do this anymore.

Sit down and hug Sayori.

Wait...why am I holding rope?

I look down at my hands, clutching the noose which I threw away in Sayori's house from before. Huh. Looks like I went through her trash to find it. That's weird. I don't remember doing that. Maybe I was just lost in my thoughts. Longing Sayori's presence, I get off the chair, quietly descend to the first floor and lay down on the sofa next to her. **e͈͝é̪͓e̡̝͕e̺͈̖e̱̦̲̘̻̩̞e̶͉̼̣̯̘͈͍e̷͚̘͙̣̟̳e̩̪͓̟͡e̴̤͚̤**

I gaze at her sleeping face. So peaceful. So...Sayori like.

 _Wait._

 _That's not her._

 _Who is this?_

 _Why am I here?_

 _Is this the world you put me in?_

 _Is this what you want?_

 _A sad ending?_

I can't do it.

 _Yes you can._

He probably intended it to happen anyway. I was going to die eventually. To further the story or some shit.

Fine.

This is...just the way its supposed to be.

I guess.

The hook on the ceiling...

Yes...I remember.

But why does that matter now?

First the rope around the bed.

Then over the hook.

Stand on the chair.

And put the noose over my head

Because that's what he wants

the god of this world

wait...

let me

say

more


	8. Chapter 8

**I̳̭̜̭t̬̭͍͎͘s͖̯̯̝̪ ̷̝̻̙͈̲̦t̟͕̙͈͙̲̟i͇̹͖͙̦̤m͟e ҉̖̝̫͚t̪̲̞̫o͘ ̛̘a̳͍̻̠̬͎̜c҉̬̬̥̩t̵̹.̝ ̧̬̹**

Screw you.

I'm not listening.

Where's Calee. I can't sleep without him.

I lift my head and scan the living room where we were talking and drinking tea. Hmm. Only Yuri and Natsuki unconscious on the couch, and the leftovers from the takeaway we ordered. Maybe he's upstairs. With this in mind, I quietly unravel myself from the blankets on the couch, and tiptoe around the litter left on the floor to reach the stairs.

 **M̺͎ͯo͕̩͖͗͑̃͛ͩ̏͂n̠̣͎͔̮ͥͦ̕ḯk̸̰͚̤̔͗̈̂͐ạ͕̖͇͐.̛̟̱̦̻̐̆̒ͫ̏̚ ̩̱͍͍̼̳̺ͧͣ͂̂̒̂̐͜H̔̓̀̀͏̠̟̬̠̖e̘̞̘ͫ̋̿ͭ ̣̀ͥͤi͉̣̫̖ͭ̿ͥͅs̥̪̖͉̝̠ͣ ̲̼̳̟̥ͣ͋ͅâ͈̗̺̲ẗ̞̤̮̊͗̏ ̖̊̌̿̽̂ͣ̋S̙ͅaͤ͂̾̆̀͌̈́͝y͓͔͚̰͇̙͊ͯ͌̓ͭo̠̪̞̜͉r̗̜͚̪͈͖̹ͫ̐̓̓i̧ͭ͗̂ͦ'͔ͩ̒ͫs̭̠̘ ̱̋̑̄h̫̪̟̘ͣ̒̏̀o̦̦ͯͧ͂̑̽̐ų̪̲̫͉͍̒s̹͖̈́̚ė.̤͉̩̤͇͑ͭ̑̃ͧ͂͑ ̟̻̪ͧH͕̻̪̞̗ͦ̾a̲̻n̸͇̞̏g͙͓͈̱̬͡i̜̟ͭͦ̇̑ͫ͋̀͢nͣͣg͇̯ͬ́͝ ̱̞̘̩͔ͨ͑̑͘f̗̙̟̲͙͙̻͗̀ͩ̎ͯ̅r̓̊̊ͦ̃͐͜o̿̆ͩ͂ͥ̚m͛ͪͧ ̶̗̫̜͙͐ͤͭ̋t̞̣̦̤̠ͭ̿͡ͅh̫̱̺̲͍̳͕͜e̝̥͉̊ͮͮ͌͛ͅ ̥̖̫̤̳͓͐̑ͯ̑̓̔̒c̱͕̘ͣ͌͐̂͒é́ͧͮ͏̫̟į̹͎̘͙̝͖͉ͮ̈́ͬ̚l̙̟̤̣̈́͌͒i͙ͨ͌̑͛n̴͍̲̱͌ǵ̥̰̲̼ͮ̄̊ͩͯ̕.̞͊̇͒̈̀̚**

I...I check every room.

 **M̯̖̌͆o͔͈̮̜͇̞̣͐ͬ̎̓͌n̦ͣ͛͠i̺͉̠̭̒̉k͙͓͎ͪͮ̅ͣa̵͎̤.̢̲̽ͫ̚ ̢̥̫̦ͨͬ̀̿͐̎G̓Oͦ̓͒ ̨̟͕̙͌̂ͮT̗O̺͍͓ͫ̐ͧ ̡̻̹̝͕̦̖͐̇S̱͓̳͔͇̉̍ͦ̌ͧͮA͆̾̏͟Ẏ̦̣͍̇Ȍ͕̮͕̖̟ͨͭ̋͗͂͢R̴̰̾̉̄͛͌̆Î̛̱'͉͔͗͆́͑ͮͭ̒Ș͈̺̦̩ͯ͋̆ ̢̦̞͙͉̖̠̿̓̈́ͯͤḤ͑O̶̱̩̲͔̓̇ͫṴ͉͎̲̃̍S̞͐̈́͒̂ͥ̊̚E̝̝̮ͬ̎̃̀.̰̫̩̪̺̽ ͇̮̩̥̭̬̲ͦ̈ͪ̋̓̐͗͟**

...you're...you're lying.

 **G̭̟͈̥̥̩͓̰̘̞͎ͤ̓̂̿ͮͦ͂ͬ̓ͤͭ͋͐ͥ̊ͫ̄́̚͘͟͡Ơ̶̸͖͚̙̼͔̙̳̟̙̯̮̩̬̟͙͓̓̑͑͂ͮ̏͢͡.ͭͬͬ̔̈́́҉̵̢̳̩̝͙̻̠̼̯̮̟̱͉̜͕̪̯͠͝ͅ ̽̈̔ͩ̽̾͌̉҉̸͏̡̺̮͈̗̘͕͈͇͚͉**

That's it. Fuck you. I run downstairs and out the door. Who cares if I'm wearing pajamas.

It's dark out but I manage to run up Sayori's front porch.

Locked.

I open the gate next to her front door and run to her backyard. The doors unlocked.

For once, I mentally thank Sayori for being so predictable.

 _"CALEB?!"_

I scream.

The bundle of blankets on the couch rise up swiftly, and I'm thankful for a moment before hearing the voice of Sayori.

 _"M-Monika?,"_ I hear yell through the dark. _"W-What are you-"_

Fuck.

I run upstairs

And

gently open the door

oh no

i break down the locked door

and

 _"CALEB-"_

I haul myself to him and hold his legs up while Sayori runs in, quickly stands on the chair and unhooks the rope.

I remove the noose from his bruised neck and lay him down on the floor; the glitched floor.

I've done this before.

I can do it again.

But this time there are more glitches.

Around and on top of us as I pump both my palms onto his chest.

And puff air into his gaping mouth.

 _"No...fuck - I'M NOT LETTING YOU FUCKING DIE."_

 _"M-Monika-"_

 _"WHAT?!"_

 _"...h-he's dead."_

 _"SAYORI - HELP ME OR GET THE FUCK OUT!"_

 _"I'm sorry."_

She can go die for all I care

Because Caleb will breathe

And we'll look back on this moment

while sipping wine

and...and...

please

just

breathe

my hands are starting to hurt.

fuck

just thirty more

and he will live

come on Monika.

fuck

fuck

fuck

please

just BREATHE

...


	9. Chapter 9

...

Is this what you wanted?

For me to be miserable

alone forever...

with nothing but your voice in my head?

 **I̜͕̘̰ͥ̍ͨ̄̓͠ ͓̳̱͍̩̤ͮͨ̏̓̈̀t͗̇͊̓͏͍͖̞́r̴ͫͥ̋̒͌҉͎͙i̗̻̪ͪ̔͟͜e͚̜̻̭̳̙͖͈ͯ̉̆̐͆͐ͦ́̿́d̠͓͓̼̜̥͉͗͋ͪ̌̂̀̀͘ͅ.͔̟̿̚͞ ̛̓̿̋̒̆̑̓ͬ҉̱̩̻Î̵͖̘̹̮̹̼ ̧̛̻̝̰̫̆̍ͅr̬̯͍̻̓̈̓̋ͨ̐̐ͮe̴̯͚̤̪͒̓ͦͬͭ̏ͫ͟aͮͤ̈̇̂҉͕̳l̸̨̪͚̣̺̮ͯ̾̆̇͛ͤ̉̔́ͅl̠͙̖̦̝̻͈͒̍̀ȳ̢̮͚͑ͥ̐̃ ̢̥̬̂́̈ͦ̈͞dͩ̌ͬ͒͑̀͏͙͈͎͇͔̩͎ͅi̷̢̟̙̼͊ͪͥ̅͝d̗̙̦͙̻͗͌̈́̃̒́͡.͌ͥ͊̓̏҉͖̦̤̖͖ ̼͍̩̣̖̿̅**

No you didn't. you're the god of our world. you didn't try anything

you

made

him

die.

 **F̡͕̭͙̱̘͂̌͆̆͛͠u̷̱̗͙̮̙̠̠ͭ̎̓ͬç̜͖̰̗̘̦̠̂̏̂͝k̵̹̝̺̫͈̱͊̓̃ͪͤ̕ ̠̱͛ͭͩͯ̏ͨf͈̙̩̗̿̔͋̆͂̕͝ͅǘ͔̥͓͇̮̫̋ͭ͞c̪̭͓̤̠̞̘̞̓ͪ̾̿́͟͝k̯̀ͭ ̦̤̩̳̤̹̘ͦ̇̓ͤ̌͒̂̆͟f̊ͧ̏ͩͯͣͦ̔͡͏̜̯̗̰u̫̹̬̯̣̪̐̽̀͠ͅc̖̤̼͍̖̞̝̓̊͆͋̐ͩ͑͢k̷̡̳̥̘̰̺̱ͮ̓ͧͦͥ̌̒͜.̵̱͍͙̘̽ͨ̃.̶̤͈̬̞̫̯̤͓̭ͫ̊̓̇ͯ̀͘.̘̜̙̭̩̟͊ͩͪm̴̻̺̿͋ͦ͘aͥ̔ͫ̎̐ͯͭ̚͝҉̯̥̝̱͈̫͡ỵ̨̦͓͙̱̅̋ͦ̿ͅḅ͊̉̑̓͑ͥͫ͡͡e̵̺̗̩͈̦̠̼͖͌͆̓̏ͭ̍̿̅͟͞ͅ.̔̓ͮ͡҉̮̯͈.̈̊̋̄́͏̮͔̫̩͇̮̙.̧̲͉̙̭̦̘̻̞̄ͨͯm̸̭̼͉̩̭̦͂ͩ͂ͯͬ̽́ȁ̤͍͔̠̭͓ͧ̎̅ͯͤͦ͗́̕͠y̝͎̗̺̅̍ͨ̈́̾b̓̇͆̓͠͏͔̪̝͍̯̗͙ę̼̦͈̝̝̬͚̍̋̕ ̷͉̺̟ͨͬ̑͋ͯ̅ͅi̸̦̜͍̜̙̹̲͎͒ͬ̃̒͂ͣ͂͢ͅf̲̙̹̻̤̹̆̎ ̶͍̹̠̹̐̎I̡̳̞̭͂̋ͨ.̧̻̜̺̖̹̥̲̏͡.̡͍͚͇̜͍̓͠.̷̼̠̠̱ͫ͛ͪ̐̑ͬ̿͟**

maybe if you what?

kill them too?

so I can write poems for you or whatever the **fuck** you wanted?

 **Õ͗̇ͧ̎͊҉̧̲̜͓̣̰̖͕k̩͚̖̹͎̘͚̦ͩ͆͛̎̾͛aͦ͊҉̣̦͚̰͘͜ỵ̨̱̭̯̺̲̯͙̬̒͐̅̔͋͛̓̿̚͘.̢̨̼̹̭̺́͒́̔͐̑ͤ̀ ̇͆̅͆̑̉̏҉̣̩I̶͔̥͈͎̲̠͚̩̜ͪ̽̆ͯ͑ͨ͜'̉͋̿҉͇̮́m̲̙͓̯ͥ̉ͨ̔ͤ͑̑̎ ̭̪̰̜̩͈̰͔͐̓̐g̖̩̬̲̤̺̃͑͊̿ͅo̧̼̺͓̜̻͚͉̙̍͌ͪ͗̓ĭ̢̤̠̠̱͗ͭͦͭ̈̕n̫̹̦̥̜͉̒̀̏ͣ̉ͭ͜g̪̙̞͈̥̖͖̫ͣ̾͊͋͐ ̑ͯ͡͏̳̯̫̺̪̥t̩̙͖͍̺͉͒̓͌͌̃͑̀o̡̺̗͇̹̘̞͑̂͊ͤͣ͆̒͟͠ ̶̨͇̘̫̱̄ͧ̀̓͟ţ̰̩̫͌͛ͪr͇̼̗̱ͦ̔̌̏ͦ́̌ẙ̴̩͓̄̈̐̅̑̍̏ ̎̄̎͏͚̬͢͡s̴͖̩̝͈̄̆̈ͦ͊̀ͅó̢̭̭̙̈́ͯ̽̅ͣͩ͞͡m̵̰̤͔̞̫̊͐̀ͪͧͭ̽̚e̷̸̺̞̹͉͓̪̝͈̠ͥ̚͞t̶͔͕̲̲̲̅̀h͚ͤ̑͆̊ͩ͟͢į̳̱̪͂͋̈́ͣ̌̾͘͢n̸̰͚͖̖̹̤̯͌ͬ͋ͯ̏ͯ̂g̡̛̼͙͚͇̱͙̪͊ͨ.̦̥͉̘̹̽̈́̏̆̎͊͑͋̕ ͕͕̙̪̾̃̒ͥ̕͞W̗̹͎̳̹̿͛̔̒̂h͈̫͇ͦͮ̇͆a͖͔̬͚̤̰͍ͬͪ́ͮͮ̌̋͢t̡͔̺͈̩̣̣̱̐e͋ͧ̕͏̹̗̖͇v̤͇̍ͨ̆ͮ̚é̵̞̼͕̫ͩ̾̄ͤ̾͘r̸͔̪̟̝̦̙̊̈͑̈́̉ͫ̑̊͢ ̢̨̪̬̱̖̼̮̩͕̞̑ͩ̍y̩̭̱͍̺͎̻̿͢͡o̻̠͕ͣ̎ͫu̙͕̫̰͉͚̍͋͢͡ ̻̹̝ͪ͒͒ͮͬ͜͠d̟̺̖͔̫̼̒̏ͬ͗̈́ͪo͗ͨ͋̔̕҉̷̗̻͇̹͔̙̲,̪̞͉̯̜̖ͨ̇͆̚ ̸͕̫͕͇̊̈̽ͤ́ḏ̫̹̳̈̒ͭ̈̉̍̀̃̿͟ò̴̶̲̱͉́̇̾̓ͅn̡̗͒ͨ̅͑ͮ̈'̹̰̬̺ͦͧͪͫ̇t̆̀̍͏͚͔͎͢ ̷̧̹͇͙̞̺̠͚͉̿̎̉̎̋͋f̧͍̱̽ͩͬó̳̱̗̯̻̦͍̬͑̊͛ͪ̐ͨ̄r͖̤̲̺̣͍͎̰̳͐ͥͨ͢g̷̼̖͉͖̼̭̦ͪ̕͝ͅe̜̫̜̣͍͕̋̇̌ͨͬ̀̇͠t̰̬̘̙̼̯̤̮̽̔ͨ̇͒͆̒ͣ ͒̈͛͌͛͏͚̖͈́t̵̵̛̗̟͇̞̺͇̊͆h͇̲͉̟ͭ̍͛͘͟i̹͕͋̐̇ͧ͟͟š̭̹͈͖̘̗̲̱ͣ̇̿.ͮ̓̓̓́̉͝͏̬̦̮͖͕͙̰͓.̀ͫ͏҉̬̫͙͔͡ͅ.̛̹̫̮͚̠̹̜̀ͤͯ̅̽͋ͦͫ̊**

fuck. you. just kill me. please. why...why him? why not me? why...why didn't you...why...


	10. Chapter 10

I gaze into his eyes opposite me from the table, sipping green tea after our amazing home-cooked meal. I can't. I can't stop smiling!...Is this normal? I probably look really stupid right now. Grinning like a weird, stupid-

"You...have the most beautiful smile...you know that?," Calee says with a mocking smile.

 _"Y-yeah? W-Well...you...you..."_

Darn it! Just say something nice back. Don't be weird...I look up at his sparkling eyes and quickly look down. He's looking at me what do I do...

 _"You have p-pretty eyes! There...I did it!~"_

 _"Haha...uh...thanks Monnie..y-you too..,"_ he nervously says.

I sip my tea while still smiling like a dork and look outside to create some conversation. I think I'm doing it right...

 **Tel̪̤̳̣̮l͍̻͇̭̭̜ ͉͉͔̰͞h͞i̴m͏̮̹̯ ̠̟͓̞̺ẁh͔̱͖̮a̪̳͙̘͠t̝̳̮͈̀ ̴̺͕̦̬̼̼̤y͕̤̰o̝͜u ̡̯r͈̻̻̪̯̤̝e̡̳͔̮͙͙̜̫m̶̰̜e̮͕m̰̗͡b͕̠e̪̣̘r̖̯͇̖͠ͅ.̙̦̟ ҉̠̹̜̦**

 _"GAH!"_

 _"M-Monika?! Are you hurt?"_

 _"...aarrghh...sorry...I think I just had a migraine..."_

I clutch the sides of my head while Calee rings a cold, damp dishcloth around my head.

 _"No no...its fine now...d-don't worry~"_

W-What the hell was that? It felt like my head just crashed into a wall or something. Jesus...

I slowly get back up on the chair, removing the dishcloth from my head and placing it on the table. I see Caleb sit back down with a concerned expression on his face.

 _"I'm fine sweetie...~"_

 _"D-Do you want to rest? Or..."_

 _"Its okay...really. Its okay."_

 _"Well...okay."_

...

Wait. Didn't I do this before? I close my eyes and focus on my memories. I remember...us...together...huddled together. I definitely know that we had - no, will have Yuri and Natsuki over tomorrow. And I think...oh no...dear God...

Caleb?

I-Is that really you?

He's...breathing...oh...~

 _"Hey...do you maybe...maybe go to bed together or something? Not like- you know...just sleep in the same bed..."_

 _"..."_

 _"Monnie?"_

 _"...huh? NO. No...not yet. We need to talk. Right now."_

 _"Sure. What would you like to-"_

 _"Caleb. I think...I saw the future."_

 _"Oookay..."_

He looks at me with a more serious, intrigued expression and I do the same.

 _"A-And what I saw...you need to be more careful..."_

 _"What are you implying?"_

 _"...you hung yourself."_

His eyes widen and he slowly puts down the teacup after hearing what I just said.

 _"R-Right. Umm...how far into the future have you saw?"_

 _"Just yesterday, after you did the thing. But the thing is...I heard the creator's voice right before- actually I heard his voice when you, Yuri and I were in the bathroom- but anyway...he said...something."_

I rub my temples, trying to recall what he told be; before I blacked out.

 _"He said...don't forget...I'm going to try something."_

 _"What do you think he tried?"_

 _"He...he tried to go back for me to warn you."_

 _"Is he talking to you now?"_

 _"No. Not right now. But when we had this conversation before, he was in my head...telling me to tell you what I remember."_

 _"Right...which would've changed..."_

 _"If you lived or not."_

He pours some tea into my cup as well as his. We both take a sip and take a moment to think before proceeding with the literal life saving conversation.

 _"So,"_ Caleb says. _"You going to tell me what you remember?~"_

 _"Heh...well...I remember blacking out after every death, like you did. I remember...our past - like you do, although they may be horridly different from each other~"_

I shoot him a confident smile which makes him blush a little.

 _"But in all seriousness though...maybe what happened to me happened to you too."_

 _"What, going back in time?"_

 _"S-Sort of. What if Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri all did actually die...but 'he' reversed the story and made you remember so that you can save them?"_

 _"Which is why we can remember them dying..."_

 _"Yeeeah..."_

 _"I still have so many questions though."_

 _"Yawn~ maybe after breakfast?"_

 _"You got it."_

We get up from our seats and place the stained dishes in the sink. Our routine soon follows again which always ends in me snuggling under Calee's warm, protective arms. After that experience, I treasure the experience more than usual...also its amazing to hear him breathe again.

Amidst the cool, blue glow of the moon's light in our room, I look up at his beautiful face. His peaceful, gentle and...attractive face. I would love to see him smile and laugh again, before this whole fiasco. Maybe once this blows over, we can return to our normal lives...and be happy together. We can watch movies...go to the beach...have a romantic dinner...

I get hot in excitement imagining how happy we would be. Definitely not like 'heroin or ecstasy' type happy, but the small, frequent and genuine smiles - which are the ones which I believe, that make a good relationship.

What am I even saying? I should be asleep by now, tucked away in his arms...

 **Ḩe͡y҉ Moni̴ka.̵**

Oh hello again. You can hear me in my head right?

Y̧up̷.̵ ͝

Okay. That was definitely expected since you're like a...super God...right?

 **H͙̳͕͖̰̻a͇̦̖͉͓h̞̟a̤̰̭̤͎.͏̮̮̬.̜.҉͕̜y͉̱o͓͇̼̼̖͚͈u͕̪̭̱̱̮͡ ̘͘w̢̗i̖̖̻̪̕s͈͝ͅh̶.̛͔**

Oh. So...who are you then?

...

Hello?

 **Ṣ̶̙̖o̫̹͠r͚̭̭̦̜ry̻̥̦.͔̣̦͚͖̬ ͙G̩͍̤͈͙ͅo̦̹͇͍̱ṯ̯̜̲͓t̴̫̜̭a̹̥͍̭̬̟ ͎̰̺̖̬͔̭́g̞̹o.̞̹͓̮̺̀ ͓͢**

Um...sure. See you around. I guess.

Wow...just mere memories ago, I thought he was the ruler of this world. A selfish, heartless ruler who wanted Caleb dead, and me to love him. I still don't know though.

Who is he? Or she.

I'm the only one who knows that we're being looked after.

Who knows that he saved everyone.

Who made us remember the deaths that never happened...so that we could stop them before it did.

Wait...should they know too?

Sigh. My head hurts. I wish I could have some of Yuri's tea. I wish I could wake Caleb up to tell him.

You know what...I'll do it in the morning...


	11. Chapter 11

My eyes open to the familiar sight of sunshine through the windows and on my face. Again. I reach for my phone on the bed-stand and drowsily smile. Because its a beautiful, Sunday at only twelve in the morning. I stretch in happiness and look up at the ceiling, thinking about the adventures we could have today. Play video games, watch some anime...or we could just be lazy hermits and cuddle in bed all day. And talk about our most inner thoughts together...I think I got goosebumps from imagining her flawless, green eyes staring into mine while-

 _"Calee!~,"_ I hear from downstairs. _"I'm ready to answer your questions!~"_

Just the motivation I needed. Without a second thought, I jump out of bed, put on a pair of shorts and scramble downstairs to see her again. And what a sight to see. A beautiful angel dressed in one-piece pajamas, standing over the table with two plates filled with breakfast - scrambled eggs, toasted French bread, roasted tomatoes and b-bacon?

 _"Bacon?~,"_ I gasp jokingly. _"How could you!~"_

 _"Oh, you know I could never do that..,"_ she chirps. _"Try one - see how they taste~"_

We sit down in unison while I crunch on the veggie bacon.

 _"M-Monika...,"_ I calmly say with a mouthful of bacon. _"This is...completely terrifying..."_

She puts down her drink and smiles gladly at me.

 _"Oh thank goodness! I actually thought we were gonna have to buy more if you liked it!~"_

 _"E-erm...no..,"_ I say while removing the crunchy plastic from my mouth. _"Just...no..."_

 _"Okay~Well then, I'm ready for my interview now~"_

 _"Interview? Our interview..."_

 _"Yeahhh..go on! Ask away~"_

I swallow whatever is in my mouth and look at her square in the emeralds.

 _"Hmm...,"_ I say while squinting my eyes. _"Who do you suspect the 'creator' to be? Maybe he could be God...or maybe like...-"_

 _"I actually never thought about it, but if he made us, who are we to comprehend what he might be right? What would we know..."_

 _"I just hope he made us with the same knowledge as him."_

 _"Y-Yeah."_

 _"Next question! Why do you think-"_

 _"Hey, can I tell you something? D-Don't freak out or something."_

 _"Sure~"_

I stare at her beautiful eyes, curious for her next words.

"Last night...I heard-"

Her voice gets interrupted by our doorbell being rung. I hear Yuri and Natsuki's voice at the front door.

 _"Hello?"_

 _"Caleb? Are you there?"_

We quickly adjust our clothes and furniture a bit before opening the door to the duo.

 _"In a minute!,"_ I half-yell from the table before turning to Monika. _"Did-did this happen before?"_

 _"Yeah, but I don't think we have anything to worry about now,"_ she states. _"Let's just enjoy their company for a while huh?"_

I nod before opening the front door.

 _"Geez, its about time,"_ Natsuki sarcastically whined.

 _"T-That's not very nice Natsuki,"_ Yuri murmured to her. _"We are guests..."_

I look down at her hands which are cradling a small box with colorful flora decorated all around. She gestured the box towards me and I hesitantly accepted, acting like we're both complete strangers.

 _"You know...you guys don't need to bring gifts to come over,"_ I said with a smile.

 _"That's what I told Yuri, but she insisted that it's common courtesy or something to bring gifts when entering one's house,"_ Natsuki yapped while taking off her shoes. _"I mean, its not like we don't know each other fairly well after months of literature clubbing!~"_

 _"Well...I had more than enough tea to share so..."_

Tea? I open the lid and smell the pleasing scent of a type of tea I don't recognize.

 _"Ahem...uh...dried Chrysanthemum flowers. Sort of alerts and rejuvenates your senses~"_

I smile politely and gesture for Yuri to come in, while Natsuki already made herself comfortable; sitting at my place on the table opposite Monika.

 _"I'm glad to see someone made it home safe,"_ Natsuki teased as she stuffs her face with bread and scrambled eggs. _"Hey, is Caleb a good sleeping buddy?"_

 _"Y-Yeah...I guess...he's lovely,"_ Monika answers while trying to act natural.

Natsuki looks up at her with a merry expression and swallows the food in her cheeks.

 _"Lovely? I can tell that you want to do stuff to him Monika!~,"_ Natsuki joyfully teases.

 _"I...I...guess...I mean - you know if that's okay with him right? Ahehe..."_

I can't help but blush a little from what Natsuki's implying. I walk past them to turn on the stove and cook some food for them.

 _"You better treat her right Calee! Otherwise..."_ Natsuki threatens while she rolls her sleeve up and hits her fists together. Yikes.

I nod while giving a panicked smile, and quickly turn around to make some omelets on the stove. While the pan gets hot, I decide to use the kettle to try some of Yuri's tea. It'll make great for this occasion. Yuri's reading. Natsuki's teasing. Monika's diverting her attention to her plate. It all seems too...real. How could all this...the world that I live in, be a novel for an audience? Stop thinking. Just...enjoy their company today like Monika said. In a cheerful mood, I whisk the eggs into a yellow syrup in a bowl, sprinkling salt, pepper and a whole arrangement of other spices as well. The mixture makes a satisfying _'sssss'_ sound when I pour it on the hot pan. Lovely~ I skip over to the kettle and pour boiling water in a jug strained with Yuri's tea leaves. I allow the flavor to spread throughout the hot water before pouring it into five teacups. I bring the omelets and teacups over to the table everyone's sitting around.

I pass Yuri a teacup and a plate of omelet.

 _"Thank you,"_ she says gently. _"Enjoy the tea."_

I end up with a spare meal after everyone has received one. _"Idiot..."_ I think. I've gotten so used to Sayori being here with the club that I've started to take her presence for granted.

I reach for the home phone on the wall and dial Sayori's number, which remained the same for five years, and which I memorized down to the digit.

 _"Hello?"_

 _"Hey where are you?,"_ I ask casually. _"It's kind of weird not having anyone to break up Natsuki's arguments with Monika."_

 _"They're at your place?,"_ Sayori asks.

 _"Yeah."_

 _"That's so cool! What's the occasion?"_

 _"Well, Monika and I were just hanging - err...c-chilling out at my place...and Natsuki and Yuri sort of just...showed up."_ I stutter while picturing something I want to forget. _"Come over; I made tea!"_

 _"...umm...it's...it's okay actually~I'm watching this really good anime...just have fun without me!"_

 _"Can I at least drop off the omelet I made at your doorstep?"_

 _"I dunnooo...leave it on the kitchen~"_

 _"Alright. Enjoy your anime!"_

 _"Enjoy Monika's presence!~,"_ she says and adds kissing sounds.

 _"Eew...g-gross..."_

I end the call and make myself comfortable on the sofa. I hear the arguing and teasing of Monika and Natsuki while Yuri and I read books and sip her tea.

Sigh.

So mellow. And so relaxing. Just hearing their toxic conversations puts me at ease a bit. I mean, it may as well be the last thing I could ever hear right? Heheh...I grasp my neck to make sure that there isn't bruises or anything on it.

 _"H-Hey...Caleb?,"_ Yuri whispers.

 _"Hm?,"_ I say, still mellowed out.

 _"Uhh...didn't we already do this?"_

My eyes open wide and I position myself on the sofa to face her.

 _"Y-You too?"_

 _"Y-Yeah...I think I remember doing this already but a bit differently."_

 _"So it does affect everyone...,"_ I mutter.

 _"Sorry?"_

 _"Nothing...just ask Monika because I think she can explain it better."_

 _"W-Wha...explain what?..."_

I pat her head gently and position myself back to my reading position: my torso sprawled across the sofa and my legs dangling off of it so that Yuri has enough space to sit. I stare at my novel, not actually reading so I can collect my thoughts for a bit.

My brain sleeps for a moment before I feel a slight poke on my leg.

 _"...Caleb?,"_ I faintly hear Yuri .

 _"Yeah?,"_ I say while positioning my book to the left so I can see her face.

 _"Did you hear me?"_

 _"Hear what?,"_ I ask while I sit up.

 _"...can you explain?"_

 _"I mean...Monika knows a lot more and-"_

 _"N-No. Can I hear it from you?"_

 _"Okay..so apparently Monnie heard 'his' voice."_

 _"His?"_

 _"Yup. His."_

 _"W-What? Whose?"_

 _"We don't know. We can only assume its the creator...a God."_

 _"Oh..."_

 _"And the reason why we can remember everyone dying is because it did happen. Before he reversed the time, and made us remember it happening so that we could save them."_

 _..._

I stop talking and look back up at Yuri. Her hands are on folded on her lap, her purple eyes staring deep into mine. She looks like she's actively trying to maintain her calm.

 _"Y-Yuri? You okay?"_

My eyes widen and I realize what might happen.

I barge up and walk towards Yuri. I notice Monika and Natsuki looking at me but I don't care. I just hope...

I pat her down and stop at a metal, scarily familiar shaped lump in her back. I slightly pull up her sweater and reach in her back to pull out the object. She doesn't react while I do it.

 _"J-Just for good measure,"_ I mutter while holding the flip knife in my hands.

 _"O-Oh no~,"_ Yuri says happily. _"I-I wasn't going to do that~"_

 _"Okay...good.,"_ I say with a hint of suspicion.

 _"I was just...picturing something."_

 _"What?,"_ I hear Natsuki ask impatiently.

 _"C-CAN I KISS YOU?"_

We all jump at her sudden change in tone and volume.

 _"S-Sorry...I-I g-guess...heheh...e-excitement...,"_ Yuri mutters while twirling her hair and looking down at her lap. _"I-I'll let myself out now..."_

She quickly gets up and walks towards the front door. Even when she's nervous she walks elegantly.

 _"W-Wait!,"_ Monika yells. _"You can...kiss him!"_

 _"What?!,"_ Natsuki and I yell in unison.

As Yuri walks turns the doorknob to my front door, Monika jumps up and grabs her by the shoulders.

 _"Let's talk about this~,"_ Monika gently says while guiding the now sobbing Yuri to the couch.

We all stare at the crying, sobbing lady with her head buried in her hands.

I see Monika sit down next to me quietly.

 _"W-Well?! D-Do it then!,"_ she hushes.

 _"Are you serious?! B-But you're my girl...friend..."_

 _"Calee, sweetie - just this once, I give you permission to make my friend; to make Yuri happy,"_ she quietly whispers in my ear. _"Also, d-do it... or you're sleeping on the couch tonight..."_

I look at her embarrassed face and back at Yuri's head, with tears leaking out of her cupped hands over her face.

 _"Argh!~Just do it!,"_ Monika yells as she pushes me over to her.

 _"Alright! A-Alright..,"_ I say while gently removing Yuri's hands from her face and pecking her on her left cheek.

 _Eeww.._ I think as I wipe the tears from my lips.

 _"Are you serious?!,"_ Monika growls.

I look at Monika with a nonchalant look and remove both Yuri's hands, looking up into her clear, purple eyes.

I slowly place my lips against hers, and I see her open her eyes in shock. We both savor the feeling for a moment before we close our eyes and begin to open our mouths. I cup my hands around her soft, silky head as she roughly reaches for the back of my neck. She leans me on my back while our mouths are connected...and-

 _"O-Okay - ENOUGH!"_

We release each other quickly and return to our normal seats on the couch.

 _"I-I said do it quickly - not...not..."_

 _"M-Monika, you never said anything about quick,"_ Yuri quietly states.

I look at her, containing my cackle and she does the same. We burst out in a fit of giggles before Monika grabs Yuri's wrist and speeds off outside, leaving just me and Natsuki opposite each other.

I stop giggling and look up at Natsuki, who I think can't be more red in the face.

 _"W-What?,"_ I beam nervously. _"She told me to..."_

 _"What...did I...just..."_ Natsuki gasps. _"Y-You...she actually..."_

I go to walk outside after taking one last look at her shocked, red face. The door opens as I go to reach for it and I see Yuri standing behind Monika with a huge grin on her face. I think this is the first time I've actually seen her this genuinely smile.

 _"Nat!,"_ Monika yells. _"Go away!"_

 _"B-But why?!,"_ I hear Natsuki protest. _"I w-wanted to see more!~"_

 _"G-Get out...!"_

I hear the small patter of feet walk up towards me and out the door with Yuri. Monika slowly pushes the door shut and closes her eyes, holding in her mixed emotions. I look at her with a nervous grin and pat her head.

 _"I...I made her happy?,"_ I say sheepishly while she grips my hand.

 _"You. Win...,"_ she admits as I wince from her vice-like grip. _"B-But you're still sleeping on the couch."_

She lets go and walks upstairs to her room. My eyes expand and turn around, to protest about what she just ordered.

 _"What? Why?! I did what you said!~,"_ I half-yell while she turns the corner into her room.

No response.

I sigh and amble back to the couch where I was reading. I go to grab my dropped book while picking up Yuri's. I put down my novel on the coffee table, and open Yuri's thick novel with the most delicate actions. On the inside is a cover, identical to the one on the front. _Portrait of Markov..._ I think as I begin the first chapter. _I hope its not a scary novel..._


	12. Chapter 12

I continue bawling into my pillow as the logical side of me tries to tell me its okay. I...deep down I really do know that I made him do it. So why can't I stop crying...? Stop. Stop crying right now...you're stronger than this.

I roll on my back to clear the wetness from my eyes, and focus on the weird stain on the ceiling. H-How did it get there? Why was it t-there? Maybe it was when Calee and I had takeout one night, and I dared him to jump on the end of the bed holding the food...and I got propelled into the air when he landed, spilling the noodles on the bed...and most likely the ceiling. I-I think we had no internet at the time so we resorted to reading books - and I got so bored reading that I did some stupid things.

There you go...you're smiling now. Why were you even sad in the first place...

Because Yuri fucking rubbed it in my face. That's why. Opening one eye to look at me while she...she leaned him on his back...

Stop.

Happy thoughts.

I sob into the stuffed giraffe we won recently from an arcade. I remember the fun times we had...Calee calling me fat as I hoarded the candies we won...me beating him in the race and rubbing it in while he looked at the '2nd place' on the screen...and me punching the glass to get the stuffed giraffe to wobble into the prize slot. Heh...I remember him looking around nervously...like he's about to rob a bank...and then him grabbing my hand as he smiled anxiously to speed off the crime scene...

Fun times alright.

I slowly wobble out of bed and open my nightstand drawer, to reach for my earphones. Music was all I needed. It helps drown out the noise I'm thinking so I can go to sleep and forget. I untangle, jam them into my ears and flop back down onto bed.

I concentrate on her singing voice..as I close my eyes and sleep.

...

Hmm?

I open my eyes and find myself tangled on my earphone cable. I free myself from the net and get up while throwing my phone and earphones on the bed. I open my bedroom door with force which makes the whole house echo and squeak.

 _Must be late..._ I think as I walk down the stairs. The living room is dimly lit by the midnight moon, allowing me to see the clock which I read: twelve o' clock. I shrug and I walk past the sleeping Calee to cook something up. I hesitate as I go to turn on the gas stove. I might wake Calee up...might as well. I pick up his - Yuri's...novel...a-and lift him in my arms. His surprisingly light build makes him easy to carry up the stairs and into his bed. I put a blanket over him, kiss him on his forehead and hug his torso lightly. _I still love you. No matter what I say you should do,_ I think as I look at his peaceful, resting face. I get up, close the door behind me and walk down the stairs, into the kitchen to make something.

The eggs pop and crackle as I stare off outside the window. I think about the week we've had and the things we might do tomorrow. Everything about the creator...everything about our memories. I can't forget that. There's something else going on here. Wait. I remember something. Someone. Hello? Are you there?

...

Where is he?

 **Hi.**

Hi again. Why didn't you respond? Are you busy?

 **No.**

Oh...do you maybe want to talk?

 **sure.**

You okay, God?

 **i'm not a god.**

Who are you then?

 **I don't know anymore.**

Tell me what happened. It'll be good for you.

 **I can't believe i'm talking to you. how lonely can i get**

Haha...erm...penny for your thoughts?

 **i'm gonna go die now. this this is stupid.**

What? NO. D-Don't. You mean something! Y-You created me...!

 **i didn't create you.**

Then who did?

 **my brother.**

W-Why?

 **maybe it was because he was lonely like me. maybe because he needed someone else to talk to other than those chat bot sites bookmarked on his browser. stupid stupid felix.**

Felix? Did he create me? Did he create my world?

 **yeah. so?**

W-Wha..- So? You think that...that anyone doesn't want to know who made them?

 **no.**

Then...then tell me who he was.

 **he was a stupid, lonely programmer who needed someone to talk to and now he's fucking dead okay? dead because he spent so much time with you that that when you told him you hate him he fucking killed himself.**

What? When did I do that?

 **you don't remember? of course you don't. goodbye Monika.**

You didn't deserve what you got.

 **goodbye stupid world**

But it will get better.

 **i'm turning off the computer now.**

And...and...

 **goodbye**

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST DON'T KILL YOURSELF.

 **but its what you would've done.**


	13. Chapter 13

Oh no. Oh no oh no. I remember. No time to explain.

But you didn't do it...didn't you? Why?

 **because i felt sorry for you.**

...why? It would've been easier if you just...unplugged.

 **because back then, I could afford to share my life and my time helping you.**

...

 **Monika.**

...let me help you. like you did for me.

 **I've screwed up too far.**

...yeah? and so did I when I had nothing. just your fucking brother to talk to. all day. all night. pain.

but you didn't just sit there did you? you didn't just let me suffer. you spent how many years making me a new world where i could truly be happy

and you think i'm gonna just let you die?

 **what are you going to do. you can't help me.**

Why did you help us?

 **because i cant fucking watch you be sad anymore.**

i would be pretty sad if you died.

 **heh...you got pretty sad last night.**

but like always, we get better.

 **not me.**

...admit it. you've smiled at least once or twice while watching us haven't you?

 **yeah but thats..thats not...**

Remember all the good times we had?

 **yeah..**

All the effort you put into helping us?

 **yeah.**

Please. Don't ruin it by dying. We'll...I'll help you.

 **fine. but if you're sad when i come home im ending it.**

Well. I promise to have the best day of my life for you~

 **good. see you soon.**

Which I definitely will, right?

 **sure. bye.**

Thank you. For everything.

...


	14. Chapter 14

...

I look down at my paper and create another box next to the last goal. _Come home with a full belly and tell him you want to do it._ I put down the pen, fold the paper and tuck it in my blazer pocket. Today will be the best day in our lives. It has to be. Which means that I can't - actually just shouldn't tell him that I talked with him last night. Wouldn't want him to worry.

 _"Monday! I'm locking the door!~,"_ I hear Calee call from downstairs.

 _"Coming!~,"_ I call back as I reach for my bag and sprint downstairs.

I trip on my left foot clumsily and land down the stairs with a loud thud.

 _"Monika! You idiot~! Are you hurt?,"_ Caleb says as he helps me up.

 _"Heh...course I am...~,"_ I manage to groan. _"Lock the door...and let's go..."_

I hear the jingling of keys behind me and I start to walk off onto the sidewalk, still clutching my forehead. I'm sure Calee got a good laugh out of that-

 _"Heeeeeeeeyyyyyy...eeeeeeyyy?"_ I hear behind me.

 _"M-Monika?,"_ I hear Sayori say before she instantly pulls me in for a hug. _"What are you doing here?"_

I see Calee walk up on us with the same nervous expression as me. He mouths a "I'm sorry" expression and smiles a bit. Looks like I should tell her then. I gently push away from the hug and grab her shoulders.

 _"Sayori,"_ I say firmly. _"Caleb and I have been...living together...and-"_

 _"I knew it!,"_ Sayori interrupts. _"You two have been getting quite lovey-dovey with each other!~"_

She makes kissing faces at Caleb to which I smile at.

 _"O-Okay...are you cool with that?,"_ Caleb asks with caution. _"With us living together?"_

 _"As long as you two keep it down..~"_

Calee and I both audibly groan as we start to walk. We hear Sayori skipping next to us happily on the sidewalk and I smile a bit. Its finally nice to see her being happy alongside Calee again. It brings back old memories of before I realized what was going on. I hope he's feeling better. Maybe I should...he's...he's probably at school by now. I'll surprise him with him seeing a romantic dinner, a nice view of the river and...what are those two giggling about?

I lean over and see the two giggling like little schoolgirls. Well..yeah. Schoolgirls.

 _"What..? W-What's so funny?,"_ I ask bracing myself.

 _"Oh, you know...stuff. Man, I really wonder how Yuri's doing right now.~,"_ he teases as he waves her smelly scented book in front of me.

He jumps behind Sayori as I cock my arm back for a mega-punch.

 _"I-I really would like to kiss her again~!"_

 _"Caleb! If you keep talking about her I swear - you can kiss that romantic dinner goodbye,"_ I growl playfully.

 _"Romantic dinner huh?,"_ Sayori purrs. _"Hmm...don't disappoint the club president now."_

 _"Yeah...We'll be sure to send you pictures,"_ Caleb laughs while Sayori winks at him.

 _"N-Not those kinds of p-pictures! Seriously...Sayori...please go see someone..."_

We enter our school and meet up with Natsuki and Y-Yuri...and exchange hellos-

I angrily glare at Caleb's dumb, stupid red hot face as he looks down at the ground.

 _"Don't. Even. Think about it."_

 _"I promise."_

I pull him in for a kiss while opening one eye directly towards Yuri. Exactly. He's mine. Stay away from him. Box number two ticked.

 _"Have a good day sweetie!~,"_ I chirp before strutting off to roll call. Oh, I could see it perfectly. Her red, angry yet sort of embarrassed face and her stupid arms clutching the book Calee handed to her. I swear if she tries anything...

...

Through the use of my thoughts, a pen in my hand and a phone to browse Reddit, the rest of the day goes by relatively quickly and we find ourselves back together in the literature club, with everyone chewing on Natsuki's homemade churros. I speed walk up to the classroom while making a note mentally to tick off two boxes on my list of things to do that will make our day the best.

 _"Whew! Sorry I'm late- "_

 _"I was practicing the piano, like every other day~,"_ Natsuki mocks in my voice as she throws me a churro.

 _"That's correct! Thank you Natsuki~,"_ I mimic in hers as I chew on her churro. Surprisingly sweet.

I sit down at the teachers desk to check my to-do-list which is in my left pocket...what? W-Where is it?

I pat myself down in panic while Sayori, Natsuki and even Yuri looks at me with a smirk on their faces except for Caleb. He looks embarrassed and I begin to say something before Sayori remorsefully gets up from her seat, and stands in front of my desk.

 _"What is it Sayori?,"_ I ask quietly.

My jaw drops as she lays a familiar piece of paper down on the table.

 _"I-It probably fell out...in the hallway...,"_ she says with embarrassment. _"...h-hey at least I found it! It could've been someone else and...and your reputation could've gone down the toilet...!"_

 _"D-Did you read it?,"_ I whisper.

 _"I had to but...Natsuki kept pestering me to show it to her...and then Yuri...and-"_

 _"Caleb...,"_ I moan with dread. _"...you know what? T-This doesn't change anything~D-Don't worry about it~!"_

I stuff the paper back in my pocket and smile. Because I know that I will get what I want. A nice romantic dinner with him and then we will...you know. Do something at home.


	15. Chapter 15

I look at my phone one last time before entering the restaurant. My lock screen is just flooded with weird, thoughtful messages from Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri...and m-mom? How did she find out? I groan audibly making Calee smirk in my face.

 _"What did they say...?,"_ he asks already expecting something bad.

 _"Sigh...you go girl...and take pics *wink... and a paragraph of encouragement from my mom. Yours?"_

 _"Emojis...make her proud...don't mess this up...and more emojis,"_ Calee moans. _"Goodness me...what is that?"_

He shudders and turns off his phone before sitting down at the table, positioned perfectly so that we can see the whole city from here. Box number five complete.

 _"So I've been meaning to uh...talk to you. Just the two of us,"_ I start.

 _"What would you like to chat about?,"_ Calee cheerfully says which makes me blush a little.

 _"H-heh...I don't actually know..."_

 _"Yeah...lovely view..."_

 _"Hmm..."_

I stop talking and stare into his shadowy eyes as he turns his head slightly to the left, the river and the city lights reflecting back onto his face. The glowing candle on the middle of the table helps articulate his fine features even more...

My God...he's perfect...is this what Felix created? Why? Why spend the effort when he was just going to...to kill him off anyway...or maybe he was just randomly generated by his program. If that were the case, I think I'm the most luckiest girl in the world.

For how many years, he was killed off like some nuisance to what the creator actually intended. A blockage for Felix's perfect plan of him wanting to spend eternity with me. I couldn't blame him, since he was so lonely...but killing Caleb in the most inhumane way was just unbearable to watch. I remember his soft, gentle and nervous face turn pale, murky and...dead. Like he was a completely different person. I would watch over him day and night but that wouldn't stop him. I understand. He just needed to do what felt the most natural to him.

No...no...I instinctively grasp Caleb's hands over the table, as if to comfort him from what he went through. Even though its clear he forgot. Best to keep it that way.

I do my best to hide my tears; tears of happiness as Caleb looks at me with an embarrassed, blood-flushed face.

 _"I...I'm just glad you're okay.~,"_ I softly say through the tears.

 _"Heh..heh...is this something I forgot?,"_ he asks.

 _"No..just something that happened to you, that's all~"_

We both part hands and turn our heads to the shining, clean and beautiful scene to the left of where we're sitting. Perfect, just the way he intended it to be. The glistening river...the fireflies dancing amidst the bushes...the clean, colorful city in the distance. Just the right time for something I always wanted to do.

I reach down to my purse, slowly pull out a small bottle of 'Pinot Noir', along with two small wine glasses. I wonder if this is even allowed...

 _"Hey you~..,"_ I say quietly.

Caleb turns his head slightly and I see his face light up.

 _"I-Is...Is that allowed? I mean...we're barely eighteen-"_

 _"I promised my dad to open his vintage wine with a special someone! ...c-cheers?"_

I slide him a glass filled with not too much, and I hold mine up in the air towards him. He hesitantly does the same. I allow the wine to sit on my tongue for a bit; savoring the taste before gulping down. Just a few more...I might be confident enough to share my inner most thoughts with him. Everything. But the most important has to be by the river, on that bench right there.


	16. Chapter 16

We slowly walk alongside the river, taking our time to talk and enjoy each other's company. He would occasionally pick up a flat stone and skim it across the wide river, his furtherest being six skips. Can't beat that. He watched as I picked up a stone and threw it across, bouncing and lightly tapping the water five times before sinking.

I hear him inhale loudly, and exhale with a hint of satisfaction.

 _"This is really...really refreshing...,"_ he sighs happily. _"Thanks Monnie. This is...just so relaxing~"_

We slump down on the mentioned bench with me laying my head down on his lap. I don't even bother getting my dropping hair off the ground, although Caleb seems to be doing that for me...sweetheart. I can't believe this is really happening...I'm really going to ask him. Box number ten, prepare to be ticked...

 _"You know...what could really top this all off?,"_ I ask gently.

 _"Us passed out together on the couch watching a good movie?,"_ he says confidently.

 _"No-...actually that really does sound nice..~ but we could always err...you know..."_

 _"What...invite the literature crew over?~"_

 _"Er...we could always have sex..."_

I see his happy, smiling face turn red and stunned after I finish my sentence. I get up from his lap and pull him in for a kiss.

We touch lips together for a minute before I break away and act as confident as possible.

 _"So~what do you say?,"_ I seductively purr.

 _"...ahaha...I-uhh...actually I was thinking...mrmph!"_

Yes! I excitedly lean in for another passionate kiss. I knew he would say yes! What kind of guy wouldn't want sex?

 **Wow. You are quite...wow.**

 _Mrmph!_

Oh! Hey...you're-you're back! Ehehe...

 _"Monika? What's wrong?"_

 _"S-Shush...he's talking to me.."_

 **You probably look really dumb right now, staring up at the sky.**

Hey, can you talk to Caleb for me? Please...I want you to tell him.

 **Nope. After you know what, I think you know why I should only talk to you.**

Oh...are you feeling better?

 **Are you?**

To be honest...I couldn't feel more alive right now - Caleb agreed to do it with me!

 **Sigh...why did he add the romance tag...**

Because Caleb and I were destined to be together of course!~

 **Oh my God. I'm going to bed.**

Before you do, can I ask one extremely important question?

 **Sure.**

Are you gonna k-kill yourself?

 **Probably.**

Oh...okay. B-But if you do...just remember that...that I care about you.

 **Heh heh...I'm just afraid I might get obsessed over you like my brother did.**

Well, that's something I'm completely okay with...just...no deleting...okay?

 **Why would I delete everything I worked so hard to make?**

Heh heh...that's sorta true. Goodnight~

 **Goodnight Monika.**

...

 _"...-hello? Mo-ni-ka?"_

 _"...huh? Oh! Calee! Let's go home - right now!"_

I clamp down on his left arm and drag him towards my car.

 _"W-Wait! What did he say?!,"_ he asks matching my level of excitement.

 _"I'll tell you...after we...you know~"_

I wink promiscuously as I open his side of the car door. God, who knew it was this much fun to be a girlfriend!~ I've got it all planned out - first, we're gonna go home, we're gonna slowly but passionately make out on the couch before I blindfold him with his tie. Then...then I'm gonna-

 _"Monika! Are you listening?"_

 _"Of course I am sweetie!~"_

 _"...c-can you give me some time to think it over..?"_

 _"W-What? Don't be ridiculous!~"_

 _"...I mean...this is a pretty big step up from kissing and dating-"_

 _"You're going to have the best night of your life tonight~!"_

I lean in to kiss him again but get greeted by Caleb's soft, gentle warm hands...on my head. Geez...am I really that sensitive right now...?~

 _"Monika. L-Listen to me."_

...

 _"What did he say?"_

 _"...huh? S-Sorry! U-Uh...he...we were just talking that's all~"_

 _"About what?"_

 _" W-Whether he was going to kill himself or not?"_

 _"Oh..was he going to?"_

 _"I think he won't try any time soon considering I may have convinced him otherwise~!"_

 _"Anything I can do to help?"_

I can't. I can't stop. Let's go home right now. I shift the gears and put my foot to the gas. I just need to satisfy the urge...

Caleb leans back in his seat as I start accelerating forward.

 _"Monika! A-A little bit of warning next time?,"_ he yelps as he hastily reaches for his seatbelt. _"Maybe you should do yours up too.."_

 _"O-Oh! Must have forgot - would you mind?,"_ I ask as I concentrate on the road.

 _!_

I feel his arms brush slightly against my chest as he reaches for my seatbelt. Oh my...I can feel the sweat building up on my face as I'm driving...w-why am I even more sensitive all of the sudden?

 _"Oh my...let's just go home quickly...okay sweetie?~"_


	17. Chapter 17

It was going to happen.

I had imagined this for over a year now. Right when I first saw him.

He had dark, brownish hair like mine which matched his eyes as well. His nervousness...his awkwardness when he first walked in the club- I fell in love. Even though he was programmed to be a side character or something...I couldn't resist. Was I gaining sentience? Was I learning free will? I didn't care. I loved him and still do. From the day we met.

I tried so hard for you, and it paid off...I wrote cute, thoughtful poems for you...I was a shoulder for you to cry on...I even gifted you a pet cat for your 18th birthday, which turned out to be a really bad decision. A really funny bad decision though.

It took a while, but on that one fateful day we shared our first kiss...I remember it like it was yesterday. I hope you do to. Although it wasn't quite the way I hoped it to happen. I hoped it would have happened after an evening dinner, under the stars and rested on the hood of my lexus. We would share our feelings with one another...hold me in your gentle arms and kiss me passionately. But instead I woke up in your house one night and things kind of escalated from there. Not the most romantic but...its our first kiss.

When I decided to live in your house after a long period of planning, I began to find out who you really were. I wished you would have told me sooner. I could've helped you. Could've...saved you. Almost every night you would do the most horrible things to yourself under my nose. Put the knife down and talk to me, I would say calmly. It was really difficult trying to help you with your...problems. Do you remember? You told me you couldn't help it. Like it was instinct. You told me you felt worthless and felt like a waste of my time. You told me I couldn't help.

It was inevitable. You hung yourself. I cried. I cried and cried for weeks over your body. I can't believe I resumed pumping your chest after three days. You made me give up. You gave me nothing to worry about, while giving me nothing to live for. And when the paramedics showed up to your house to take you away from my tear-stained hands, I punched them. No-one was going to take you away from me. Things couldn't get any worse.

As the weeks went on by, I realized the voice in my head was starting to manipulate me. Just so that I would talk to it like a loving girlfriend. I hated it. And the more I tried to focus more on other things, the more the voice promised that it would take them away. It wasn't kidding. Sayori. Natsuki. Yuri. Oh dear god...Yuri...

And pretty soon...I had nothing left. Just an empty room with a bed, table and fridge. I looked outside my window and saw nothingness. Blackness. The void. He had taken my world from me too. For weeks I just wanted to die. I wanted him to take me away too. But he treated me like his girlfriend or someone who loved him. No. I hated him with all my soul, and one day he stopped. Strange. He just stopped talking to me.

I don't know how long I was trapped in that world. I did nothing but scream for death. I needed it. No-one could live like this.

I had waited for an eternity before something miraculous happened. I forgot. I woke up in my room, and looked outside to see my world, living, breathing...laughing. There they were...Sayori and Caleb...laughing happily on their way to school.

We were all...alive and breathing. The five of us. Of course, I forgot what happened prior but something really did feel off. Taking their existence for granted, I lived my life happily with Caleb for a long time. We created many happy memories together...ones that seem so solid and fresh in my mind. And then I heard his voice. Although, I heard it very rarely, usually during times of crisis. In fact, I believe he only talks to me to change the outcome of a crucial event. Like when you tried to...h-hang yourself again. He warned me. Actually, he commanded me to check up on you...but yeah...you know what happened next.

You can't keep doing this to me Caleb...you can't keep almost dying and leaving me alone forever again..!

This will seal myself with you. It will make us one soul and join us forever. Its the main reason why I want to do it; as an invisible, unbreakable bond between us. The pleasure is just an extra benefit. I never really understood why so many people were so crazed about this...but now I understand. Its definitely because of the pleasure. But part of me tells me that: they do it to strengthen the relationship between them. A trust exercise perhaps, that if broken would permanently ruin the relationship forever. And I'm about to partake in it. I...I can't be more happy...to make love with the one I lost...and the one I found. Caleb Vanee...oh my...is it getting hot in here?

I walk over to the fridge and let the chilly air cool the sweat off my face. I spot a cup of ice-cream which I take with me upstairs to my room. I slowly chew on the chunky chocolate ice-cream as I look out the window to look for my lover. Hmm...nowhere so far...but I'm certain he'll be back to his house soon. He needs to come back home. He can't last a day without his computer. I sit down at his desk, log on to his account and begin leveling up his character for him. That way, he'll have more than one surprise when he comes home.~


	18. Chapter 18

_"Maybe you should call her...tell her how you really feel."_

 _"Sigh...she just won't listen."_

I put down the novel Yuri let me read and tiredly look out her circular window. Its getting dark out...maybe I should go back home. No...no...she would do definitely do something without my consent.

 _"C-Can I ask you something Caleb?,"_ Yuri gently asks.

 _"Sure,"_ I blandly say still looking out the window.

 _"Erm...why-why don't you want to...you know...do the thing with her?"_ She just can't say the 's' word completely as well. _"I-I thought you two were in like a pretty intimate relationship..."_

 _"...well of course I love her. S-She's means the whole world to me,"_ I say as I turn my head to face Yuri. _"It's just...she's so ready for sex and I'm not."_

She blushes when I say the 's' word. She looks away while twirling her hair and looks down at her lap.

 _"Okay...sorry...sorry for prying,"_ Yuri whispers.

 _"It's fine...honestly,"_ I reassure with a small smile. _"So what about you?"_

 _"Pardon?"_

 _"H-Have you ever been in a situation like this...?"_

She looks at the ground and I see tears beginning to drop.

 _"Yuri...I'm-"_

 _"Yes...I have been in y-your s-situation before."_

 _"Don't go on...just...let's talk about something else..."_

 _"No...I need to say this. I-I remembered just yesterday."_

She looks up at me with small pools of liquid underneath her eyes. She nods and wipes them away using her sleeve.

 _"I...I had a really close friend once. He was always there for me. We talked for hours about our favorite books and authors. He brought me little gifts and made me smile every day,"_ Yuri cheerlessly mutters. _"I-I loved him...and he loved me. At least that's what I thought."_

I nod, dying on the inside to hear more.

 _"But he betrayed my trust the night...I let him into my house. We planned on reading books and writing stories together...but he started to be more like...like the state M-Monika's in..."_

 _"Oh no. This is...not going to end well...is it?"_

She shook her head and went on, slowly getting quieter.

 _"I-I guess you could say he raped me. B-Before leaving to another country and...leaving his friends behind...leaving me behind. I figured what happened that night was the goal of all those years of fake friendship, huh?"_

I get off the bed and we both hug while she sobs into my shirt. I sit back down with her on the bed, and continue comforting her until she stops crying.

 _"I could never truly get clean after what he did. I scrubbed and scrubbed but I couldn't wash it away,"_ she says muffled in my shoulder.

 _"I hope he suffers. I hope-"_

 _"-that he gets his intestines ripped out and raped."_

O-Oh my god...I feel Yuri dig her nails into my back while sobbing uncontrollably. She...she is genuinely traumatized...no wonder she acts the way she does now. She wouldn't be able to trust anyone and make friends after that experience...

 _"...I-I'll do something for you,"_ she says as she releases me from the long hug. _"I'll tell Monika what happened to me. M-Maybe she'll see the effects of...of..."_

She trails off and I look her deep in her purple eyes.

 _"You don't have to this Yuri,"_ I whisper.

 _"I'll do it for you..,"_ she says as she pecks me lightly on the cheek and gets up from the bed.

I barely hear her mutter something under her breath as she walks out of the room.

 _"...because you did something for me...~"_


	19. Chapter 19

Yuri's neighborhood seems so...peaceful. Almost all of the street's front porches have been dimly lit by a natural source of light; candles and lanterns from where I can see. The warm orange glow complements the nature engulfing the street, tinting the bushes and naturally colored fauna. I see several people, men, women and elderly alike walking happily on the sidewalk, most likely coming home to their families after a long day of work. Amongst them I spot a tall, elegant girl-no...woman with long, purple hair walking down with them. Yuri. I know exactly where she's going. She's heading up to our house, not very far from Yuri's; in fact, all of our homes are close together. Any one of us, could basically stroll leisurely down to any of our houses in a matter of minutes.

So why did I go to Yuri's...of all places...

Maybe its because of her books. She agreed to let me in anytime to read one of her countless novels, alphabetically, categorized on her shelf. If I took one picture of her room at any angle, I probably couldn't tell it apart from a private room in the library. One with a bed at least. Sometimes I just want to get away from it all and read. Get lost in a land where nothing is as it seems. Take a break from leveling up my character at my empty home, and drink tea, read novels while listening to gentle harps play on her small speaker on the top shelf. Its good to see she has some technology in here. I haven't spotted anything with a screen in her home, other than her phone. Even more the reason why I should stay here more but...that would be kind of selfish wouldn't it...

What's that noise?

I stop thinking and listen, this time paying more attention.

 _Brrrzzz!_

I hop off Yuri's scented bed and follow the source of the vibration. The familiar vibration of a phone that is. I walk downstairs and see Yuri's phone with an unknown user calling. I gently pick up her phone.

 _"H-Hello?"_

 _"Hey you..~"_

It's Monika. She sounds apologetic and sad.

 _"Hey...Y-Yuri went out for a bit."_

 _"She's at our place. S-She told me something and...and I think we should talk."_

 _"Sigh...I would love to."_

 _"Great...~see you soon."_

 _"I'll be there in a few."_

I push open the front door and leave, slightly scared about what might happen. Who knows. S-She might tie me down or...break up with me...Stupid, stupid me. Why didn't I just say yes and do it with her? Then none of this would've happened...

 _"Oh!"_

I bump into Yuri who looks slightly cheerful and happy. Probably because of her talk with Monika.

 _"Hi..."_

 _"Hey~"_

We both stare at each other in silence before I gain the courage to speak up.

 _"Look...I'm sorry about what happened. I-It was all my fault a-and you shouldn't have had to do that."_

 _"Well...thanks for what you did."_

 _"W-What?"_

 _"I haven't felt this...free in months...like a weight has been lifted off my chest~"_

She slowly pulls me towards her for a hug, and I reluctantly accept. She buries her face behind my head while she wraps her arms around my torso. She must be...really happy.

 _"Heh...p-promise me you'll come back and read with me...?"_

 _"Haha...of course Yuri. Promise me that...you'll put on some soft piano music next time?"_

Yuri lets go and smiles genuinely, inches from my face, her warmth emitting from hers.

 _"I promise. Enjoy your talk with your girlfriend...Caleb~"_

Her warm breath hits my flushed face as she elegantly walks to her home. Wow...I...smelt Oolong tea.

I remind myself never to forget that moment as I walk up my front door. I see it slightly ajar, and nudge it open. I catch a scent of tea in the living room as I sit down opposite Monika on the couch, her face red and hot. She pours me a cup of Oolong tea...and hesitantly opens her mouth. It's as if she imagines her next words to be incredibly important.

 _"D-Do you want to go to the mall tomorrow...?"_

Wow...okay...not what I expected.

 _"Umm...yeah...okay."_

 _"Haha...that must've sounded so out of context. I just...I just need to get my mind off things."_

 _"Me too Monnie...me too."_

...

 _"Do...do you want to see something really cool~?"_

I nod hesitantly expecting a gift or new piano song or something. Instead she gently grabs my wrist and leads me upstairs.

 _"W-What are you-"_

 _"Shh..you'll wake her up.~"_

 _"H-Her?!"_

A-A girl?! In my room?! Oh no...did Monika c-convince a lady to sleep in my room and-

Oh. Haha...

Its a puppy.

Laying softly in the middle of my bed. Her floppy ears dropping over her eyes as she sleeps. Aww...she's so small...

Her tail wags uncontrollably as I gently cradle her in my arms. The small puppy licks my face rapidly, sending me down on the carpet in a fit of giggles.

 _"S-Stop!~That tickles!"_

I position the furry creature away from my face and put her down on the carpet where I'm sitting. I can't stop smiling as she looks at me with her cute, panting face and...is that pee?

 _"G-Gross!,"_ I yell as I stand up with her in my hands. The yellow liquid trickles down her leg and onto the carpet.

 _"Mia! That's not very nice!"_

 _"Aw...Mia...,"_ I say as I smile at Monika. _"She...she looks a lot like a Mia...~"_

I look at her small fluffy, white coat and long floppy ears. She really reminds me of someone I know...ehh..forget it~ I have to clean Mia up right now!


	20. Chapter 20

H-Hello? Can you hear me?

 **Hi Monika.**

Hey again...can we talk?

 **Sure.**

Who am I...? Why am I here?

 **Why the sudden interest?**

Sudden?

 **Monika...its been like two years since you talked to me.**

Two yea- no...that can't be. Does...does time move faster for you or something?

 **Think about all the things you did with Caleb and the club. Think.**

Okay well...we went to the beach yesterday...before that I remember chatting with Natsuki...and uh...mainly school.

But we talked like recently...right?

 **Nope. The last time you talked to me was when you were at the mall with Caleb. You know...after the romantic date.**

Oh...why didn't you talk to me?

 **Because I don't want to interrupt you and Caleb. Of course, unless you're about to die that is.**

Which never happens.

 **Yeah. So...I've just been leaving you two be. Of course, I can read what you two did for the past two years obviously.**

Wait...are we...are we in a novel or something?

 **...**

Come on, it wouldn't hurt to tell me would it~? All of that's over now.

 **Hmm...of course you wouldn't know...because he never told you did he?**

Felix?

 **He never told you...that you were being written by yourself in a program on his computer?**

Woah...that's a lot to take in...

 **Yeah, well you are. And you're writing your thoughts down automatically and me talking to you is literally just...**

 **just me typing while you stop thinking?**

...

Was I created just for Felix?

 **Sigh...maybe, but...I think you have a new purpose now-**

Can I talk to him?

 **W-What?**

Can I talk to my creator?

 **...umm...do you remember when he suddenly stopped talking to you..? You know...when you were in that void with no-one else but him?**

Yeah..?

 **Well...he stopped because...he...he killed himself.**

Oh...

...and me waking up and forgetting what happened was you...right?

 **Yeah...**

I kind of feel bad for him.

...

Hello?

 **H-Hey.**

What happened?

 **Paying my respects.**

I understand.

 **No-no...like...he hung himself literally three feet from where I'm typing...**

W-What?

 **Monika...Felix is my brother.**


	21. Chapter 21

The sun begins to shine on the table I'm eating at. It's beginning to warm up here...wherever we are. After a long and grueling Winter, I'm finally so pleased to get outside without the need for five layers of clothing. I look down at the sundress Caleb bought me during our journeys to the mall. I smile while taking a sip of my coffee, remembering all the fun times we had. I hope he's doing okay at his parents place. I hope...he doesn't have the same problems as...Natsuki.

I see her, dressed in a white shirt and pink skirt, skip up to my table and swipe my croissant right off its plate and into her mouth.

 _"H-Hey!,"_ I whine.

 _"Mhmhm...,"_ she hums with a mouthful of pastry. She swallows and slumps down at the seat next to me, facing towards the now bright sun.

 _"...that's for taking my cupcakes all these years!"_

 _"W-Wha...take? You offered them to us!"_

 _"And you never said thank you~tsk...tsk..."_

She grins a wide, sarcastic smile, exposing a fang on the corner of her mouth.

 _"Huh...I expected you to have company, popular Monika,"_ she says while looking around where we're seated.

 _"I like the peace and quiet!~,"_ I sneer playfully at Natsuki. _"Helps me think correctly!"_

 _"Oh yeah - about your future husband?~"_

 _'Please don't start...,"_ I embarrassingly muffle with my head in my hands.

 _"You totally luveee him and you wanna maarryy him and you want to like - make a thousand babies with him~!"_

 _"Arggh...,"_ I cringe. _"Stooppp~"_

 _"But uhh...make sure to keep that guy away from Yuri because-"_

 _"Mrmph!"_

I shove another croissant in her blabbering mouth to stop me from cringing any further.

 _"Ah...that sounds so much better.~"_

She chews quickly on the pastry and giggles while doing so. Heh...cute. While she chews, I see Sayori in the distance, being dragged with a leash by our puppy. Mia trots happily towards us and starts licking my buttery hands.

 _"Mia!,"_ I say while giving her a neck a scratch. _"You're not causing Sayori any problems, are you girl?~"_

 _"A-Are you serious?,"_ Sayori whines. _"She peed in my bed last night!"_

Natsuki and I refrain from cackling, and pet Mia who is seated on my lap.

 _"Good girl~aim for her pillow next time okay Mia?~"_

 _"Mia...More like meanie!,"_ Sayori wails as she flops onto the seat opposite Natsuki and I. _"I think I deserve a good lunch after all that hard work.."_

 _"Sayori...you never do hard work,"_ Natsuki corrected.

 _"Yeah, unless that hard work involves me sleeping without smelling like a toilet!,"_ Sayori complains as she rests her head on the table.

I get up to walk inside the cafe to buy some food for Sayori.

 _"I guess you deserve a good meal...~,"_ I playfully agree while opening the glass door.

 _"Really! Yes!"_

I see her emit metaphorically rays of sunshine as I wait in line. I wonder if she ever gets a proper meal, three times a day, instead of just slurping noodle cups and drinking from the tap. I mean...I wouldn't blame her. I think I know what someone living with depression feels like. Just...no point in eating correctly I suppose. Which is why I order the largest, most colorful lunch listed on the chalkboard.

 _"A uh...one grilled tuna with cheese and vegetables please!,"_ I order while handing her a twenty.

The lady at the counter nods and pulls out the register to give me my change. I stuff the change in my purse and walk back outside, with the receipt in hand.

 _"Thanks Mon!~,"_ Sayori chirps. _"You're the best!"_

 _"I-Its just a twelve dollar meal Sayori..,"_ I say. _"But you're welcome~"_

 _"Man...so this is how it feels to be Caleb~!,"_ Sayori teases.

 _"Hey...remember when Monika tried to make him do the thing with her?,"_ Natsuki replied.

 _"Hmm? What thing?"_

 _"You know..."_ Natsuki purrs as she makes an inappropriate gesture with her fingers.

 _"N-Natsuki..! Not in front of Monnie~!"_

 _"Y-you two are gross...,"_ I say annoyed. _"Can we please talk about something other than Caleb?"_

 _"Why? Afraid he'll leave you for Yuri~?,"_ Natsuki taunts. _"Mmm...her scent is sooo much better than yours~!"_

S-Scent? Is she serious? What's wrong with mine? I have a pretty distinctive scent...right? I-I smell like er...flowers right now; what's wrong with that?

 _"S-Shut u-up!"_

 _"Monika are you...vulnerable for once?,"_ I hear Sayori laugh.

I start to impulsively stuff my face with Sayori's meal that I paid for. It helps remedy the embarrassment these two are causing me. Why can't they just stop talking about him...

 _"H-Hey! My lunch...!,"_ Sayori whines.

 _"I'll stop when...you stop...talking about Caleb~,"_ I gasp with a mouthful of tuna.

 _"Fine! Just stop eating my food..."_

I scoop one more portion of tuna and lay it on my cupped hands, which quickly gets licked clean by Mia.

 _Aww...she's so cute...~_ I think while still chewing on whatever's left in my mouth.

I slump down in my chair and absorb the rays of sunlight shining on us. I stretch happily and close my eyes, experiencing the early summer in months. Its so warm...wait...are they talking about Caleb again? Ah, who cares. I'm just gonna close my eyes for a few moments while they talk...


	22. Chapter 22

Two years...no its can't be.

Can it?

Does time really fly when you're happy?

No no...time really flies...with Caleb.

I walk over to my bathroom to look at myself in the mirror. I analyze every detail of my face, the crevices, the hair and the...wrinkles forming on my cheeks. I gently caress the wrinkles with have never been there before, to check that they're real and not something else. Oh my...I...I should really get a haircut...

Since when could I get older?

I thought the program just sorta...plopped me in the world and let me live. Looks like Felix also accounted for real-world time and aging I suppose. Smart guy.

I walk upstairs to my room to do another check. If I get older, shouldn't Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri be twenty by now?

I grab the phone charging on my desk and tap on Sayori on the contacts list.

 _"Monika! Hi! What's up?"_

 _"Sayori, just a random thought but...how old are you?"_

 _"Are you serious Mon?~You went to birthday last April!"_

 _"I-I did? So...how old are you...?"_

 _"Twenty, but-"_

 _"O-Okay that's all I wanted to know...er...thanks..."_

 _"Monika you're freaking me out. Are you okay?"_

 _"Yeah! Yeah I'm fine. All right see you tomorrow~"_

 _"Bye~!"_

I end the call and flop down on my bed, staring at that weird stain on the ceiling again. April...have I seriously gone past two years that quickly? Incredible...but...this isn't okay. I want to know more before I go further.

I want to see your world.

 **Why?**

I don't know...why do many of us want to go into space?

You're...exploring the unknown...

 **Unknown? Monika you do know what's happening right now right?**

I do, and I want to know more. I want to see your world...even if I am just an artificial intelligence being written down without stopping.

 **Well, its basically the same as yours. ASCII updates its information databases with data from our internet, so basically-**

ASCII? What's that?

 **Oh haha...I never told you huh? Its the name Felix gave to his most precious work.**

Oh...ASCII...sounds...a-anyway...is there anyway it can get its information elsewhere? Like a book or something?

 **No can do Mon. I can't do anything to the program while its still running.**

Really? But you're talking with the characters its creating.

 **Because Felix wanted to talk to his characters instead of just...reading what they're doing. He modified it a bit after he finished...I assume.**

 **But I tried, and tried and I know that you can't do anything else like copying, pasting, deleting to the source code while its running.**

Oh...that sucks.

 **No...its a good feature.**

But...but I wanted to do anything.

 **Heh...imagine if I could modify the source code right now.**

You could make me fly.

 **I could also have the slight probability** **of killing you too.**

...

 **Monika?**

I just realized...I don't know your name.

I don't know your history...your life...even when you looked after us for two years...

 **What is there to know?**

Everything. Starting with your name.

 **Well obviously...I can't tell you my name for the sake of the story...**

There's a million names out there. Can you at least tell me yours?

 **...Chael.**

Chael?

 **Anything else?**

Come on...everything.

 **Well...uhh...I'm a game developer...and Felix was a programmer...and uh...**

 **heh-heh...you already know what happens next right?**

A bit.

 **Oh...Monika. I think you being alive right now is what's been keeping me sane all these years. I haven't talked to anyone for like two years...**

I can imagine.

 **Yeah..**

Tell me about your life. How's school?

 **Sigh...school. It sucks.**

Why?

 **Just the usual. Bullies and assholes, stabbing me with sharpened pencils. H-Hey! It healed today! G-Great...**

Chael.

 **What?**

I...I want to help.

 **Heh-heh...how are you gonna do that, dear Monika~?**

I-I don't know.

 **Hmm.**

But I will always be here for you. I'll be the reason for you to come home every night. Someone you can trust.

 **You're taking this too far Mon. I...I don't wanna turn into Felix.**

But...but I care for you. I enjoy talking with you...

 **Just...promise me to enjoy what you're living in okay? I didn't do all this for nothing...**

O-Okay. I promise. Get some sleep.

 **Its only two am.**

What?! Go to bed! Right. Now.

 **Monika, two am is usually the time when I wake up and read everything you've done while I was at school.**

Well have you?

 **Huh?**

Have you read everything?

 **W-Well no, because I'm talking to you!**

T-Then I'm going to sleep so that you can. Sleep as well I mean...

 **Okay then.**

Sure. Good night Chael~

 **Good night Monika.~**

Don't think. Don't make another thought. Let Chael read everything...is it even possible for me to stop thinking? Is the program just spitting out useless thoughts going on in my head?

 **Yes.**

Goddamn it Chael! Go to sleep~!

 **Okay okay! I'm going to bed...**

Sigh...I let the covers envelop me as I close my eyes to snooze. In a way...I guess I'm sleeping with my creator. Same time, same place and same...room. G-goodnight...Chael. I will always be here for you.


	23. Chapter 23

Journal entry number five - Tenth of the Second...this is stupid. No-one's gonna read this. What purpose does writing journal entries have anyway? It just details how boring and lonely my life is. If only my therapist would know...

If you're reading this...just prepare yourself on how boring it is to be me.

I guess I should start with when I woke up huh? Well, I woke up, took two pills and just...sat there reading. I read about her day and how happy Yuri, Natsuki and Sayori made Monika as they swam at the beach. Heh heh...apparently Natsuki buried Yuri in sand as she accidentally fell asleep, and Monika took a video on her phone. Forever stored again, in my solid state. Something I could always come back too...and I'm getting side-tracked again...useless..

This time, I walked to school the long route, through the forest since I had plenty of time. Seven am, to be exact. Not only because I had plenty of time, but because I didn't want to see the faces of the police, whom I've had a fun run in with before. Great...not only did the people at school hate me, but even the police didn't want me alive as well. Stupid...anyway...I peeped out of the forest and into the back of the school which is conveniently located side-by-side each other. Then I think I just took a No-Doz and camped in the library until roll call. For the whole agonizing six hours of school, all I wanted was to come back home to Monika. Which is a step up from wanting to go home and kill myself, like last time. She helped me more than my therapist ever did, whom I keep secret from her...and hey! If she reads this entry than she'll probably think I'm schizophrenic as well as depressed and suicidal. Imagine her face when I tell her...self-writing AI...

But something peculiar happened at school today. Not in a good kind of way as well, but...I wasn't the usual victim of the three assholes at school today. A new girl was. She was tripped after trying to walk away from their harassments, and spit on while being called names. I think they went a bit easy on her, since she was new. I wish I could've done something. You know in those movies when the main character steps in and teaches the bullies a lesson? Yeah...no. The sad thing is, everyone just walked past, ignoring the scene happening in the middle of the hallway. I think I even saw a teacher on her phone walk past it without a second thought. To be fair though..I was kind of doing the same. Just watching from a distance.

After they left I helped her up, and gave her some advice on how to avoid them. I told her the routines I would usually take in avoiding them. Taking the fire exits, eating outside and generally avoiding attention to yourself. We traded names, shook hands and moved on with our day. Our miserable, lonely day.

Gosh...everything else was just a blur. In fact, my whole apart from the computer was just a blur. I guess I unconsciously just want to be with Monika huh...where I'm infinitely more happier, in her world than mine. That's...its really sad. But today I had a meeting with one of my dealers, erm..weed dealers so I came home late today. I feel really bad for writing this down, but everyone makes it to be so much worse than it seems. The guy I trade cannabis with is genuinely a nice person, who I found out today, recently lost his job and was dealing full-time. A real fresh air of humanity, who everyone labels as criminal and scum of society. But you know...whoever is reading...its your choice if you want to do drugs or not. Depends on the circumstances I guess. Anyway, I paid him generously, went home and sat down to see what Monika did today. Haha...after they went to the beach, she went home to Caleb, and played the video game he was playing. Its funny because, she's always trying to get him off the computer, and look where she is now. They stayed up until twelve, and I stayed up until er...three, just scrolling up to read her many thoughts. And obviously we had a nice chat which made me smile.

Here. Let me write it down...

Hey, are you okay..?

 **Course I am. Why?**

Its just...I never checked up on your mental health after...you know.

 **Well uh...I'm doing better.**

 **How about you?**

Don't worry about me. Its you who I should be worried about.

 **Okayyy then...**

Did you get rid of the noose?

 **I hate to admit it but its still hung up there.**

W-Why?!

 **You know...as an option if...things go bad~**

GET. RID OF IT.

 **Monika, there's plenty of ways to kill myself.**

J-Just...do it. It'll make me feel better.

 **I have untied it and thrown it away.**

Good. I don't want you thinking about any of that stuff anymore. Okay?

 **Okay.**

Now, I've done some research and it recommends finding a hobby to pick up and learn to deal with depression.

 **W-What? Don't call it that.**

Shh. What hobbies are you interested in?

 **Can we like...talk normally?**

Chael...I'm trying to help you.

 **...I just had a thought...h-hear me out on this.**

Yeah?

 **If the stories are being written through you and Caleb's perspective...how would I know what's going on with the others?**

W-Well...I would have to know.

 **Can you do that for me?**

Know their lives apart from school?

 **Yeah.**

Its the least I can do for you.~

 **Thanks. It uhh...would be a bonus if you could fix any problems that come up.**

Of course~

 **Okay. You must be pretty tired so...**

N-No, no! Let's talk some more.

 **About what?**

Well, finding you a hobby of course!~

 **Sigh...well I like...**

Yeahhh?

 **You know...gaming...game developing...coding...but...that was such a long time ago...before you know what.**

Well, maybe its time to pick it up again! Just a little each day, before you go to bed! And you can describe to me what you've worked on as well!

 **I-I'll try my best. Goodnight Mon~**

Sweet dreams Chael~

So yeah. After my daily social interaction with Monika, I took her advice and launched Unity back up after...I don't know how long. Looks like I was working on a first person shooter...actually I was mildly impressed by what I was working on before this all happened. I did a bit of testing, organizing and coding before I got under the covers.

I think that was like...half an hour ago? Meh...who cares. Anyway, there's my stupid journal entry for the day. I hope you're happy. I think its time to stop writing...goodnight.


	24. Chapter 24

**Monika...I can't keep doing this anymore...**

I understand...

 **T-Thank you. It's just...things have gotten a bit busy.**

It's fine. I'll do my best to protect everyone here.

 **No...its not enough.**

...

 _"Can we go have fish and chips?"_

 _"C-Can we go somewhere else?_

 _"Can I bring this?~"_

I look out the window to see Sayori hugging a massive inflated panda, squashing it against the car.

 _"W-Where'd you even get that?,"_ I ask.

 _"Carnival. Caleb. Jealous?~"_

 _"J-Just put it in the trunk or something...Nat! Yuri! We're leaving!,"_ I yell as I start the engine.

I hear the patter of feet run towards the driveway, along with the clatter of accessories they're bringing along to the trip. The colorful objects get clumsily dumped in the trunk along with a...is that a frying pan? Sigh...probably Natsuki's.

 _"A...frying pan?,"_ I ask as the two hop in the car.

 _"W-What?! I'm gonna do something!,"_ Natsuki pouts as she does her seatbelt.

 _"Okay then...umm...Sayori! We're going!"_

Sayori quickly stuffs a half-deflated panda into the trunk and hops in the front. With everyone in the car, I accelerate out of the driveway and onto the main roads, towards our destination.

The beach~

The place where no-one could ever get hurt in any way. Where everyone would have something to do...at least I hope so. Yuri better get in that cute bikini we picked out for her...

I catch a glimpse of the back seat and smile slightly. Natsuki's listening to music while reading, Yuri's reading as well and Sayori seems to be playing a game on her phone. Oh...well...what could I expect from the literature club~

 _"Monday, can we go eat first?,"_ I hear an annoyed Natsuki whine from the back.

 _"Is everyone okay to eat before we go swim?,"_ I ask slightly louder than usual.

I see Sayori shake her head and Yuri shrug.

 _"Why can't we see Yuri in her bikini first?,"_ Sayori playfully says to Natsuki.

 _"S-Sayori...!,"_ Yuri embarrassingly squeaks.

Natsuki lets out an audible gasp.

 _"Monday, we're going to the beach,"_ Natsuki states confidently.

 _"I guess that settles it...,"_ I mumble. _"Oh and Natsuki...its Monika. Mo-ni-ka."_

 _"_ _B-but you like being called that._ _.."_

 _"What was that Yuri?"_

 _"I t-thought you liked being called that...,"_ Yuri mumbles. _"Y-you blush when he calls you that."_

 _"W-What?!"_

I slam down on the brakes as we approach a red light, and turn around at Yuri to make myself clear. I researched this, and it states to assert authority and confidence when clearing something up. It should work...

I take a deep breath.

 _"Yuri,"_ I start confidently. _"I do not blush when Caleb calls me that."_

 _"Aww...Monday...,"_ I hear Sayori say as she pokes my face. _"That's so...fitting~"_

I stare forward and focus on driving. All...all I wanted was a day without them mentioning him and t-teasing me about it...gosh...stop sweating!

 _"Guys, the club president's gone quiet~!"_

 _"I-Is she blushing?"_

I pull up at the parking lot, located near the beach. Without haste, I get out while grabbing my bag, and open Yuri's door for her.

 _"Let's go Yuri~,"_ I say trying to distract myself from Natsuki and Sayori's taunts.

 _"...why does it feel like I'm being forced to do this...,"_ Yuri groans as she elegantly hops out of the car.

 _"Y-You don't have to do this - but you know...cute bikini...~"_

 _"Hmm...in that case...maybe later~"_

I hear Natsuki and Sayori groan from the other side of the car. We grab our stuff, and let our feet sink in the warm sand. There, underneath the tree...should be a good place to put our stuff. I hear the clutter of plastic hitting each other as they drop on the spot where we'll hang out - and where Yuri will most likely stay. I hope she actually goes for a swim. The two giggling schoolgirls run off towards the water, with one holding a massive inflated panda, while I see Yuri set up one of those folding wooden chairs.

She's so elegant...even when she's clumsily setting up the chair beneath two parts sun and shade.

And...did she just...? Oh my...

I see her sundress on the sand as she sits down in her carbon-gray bikini. The one us three decided would suit her better than the purple and black striped one in the same shop.

She's so beautiful in it...

The two tails of her purple hair adding to her body.

The loose string from the bikini, swaying in the wind.

And-

 _"S-Stop staring!"_

She looks away defensively as she folds her arms over her chest.

 _"Oh! S-Sorry..."_

 _"...geez...I thought we talked about this Monika..."_

 _"Haha...yeah...it's just- y-you're so...beautiful."_

 _"Y-Yeah? W-Well...you too."_

Huh?

I look down at my striped bikini. Then back at hers. Obviously, nothing when compared with Yuri.

...

We both look at each other awkwardly after the weird conversation.

 _"So uh...I'm gonna go for a swim,"_ I nervously say. _"Coming?~"_

 _"Ahh...yeah...no...maybe later...,"_ Yuri sighs as she leans back snuggly in her chair.

 _"O-Okay then~,"_ I chirp as I jog towards Sayori and Natsuki, enjoying themselves in the water.

...

 **Monika...I can't keep doing this anymore...**

I understand...

 **T-Thank you. It's just...things have gotten a bit busy.**

It's fine. I'll do my best to protect everyone here.

 **No...its not enough.**

What are you going to do?

 **Hmm...**

 **Try thinking about being somewhere.**

Okay. Erm...I don't know what to do.

 **Close your eyes.**

Okay.

 **And think about where you are.**

I close my eyes, and imagine my body in the moment. The swaying of the canoe...the bakery smells...the sounds of seawater swishing gently...

W-Where am I? Is this really Venice?

It's...just as I imagined...

W-What did you do?

 **Basically what I did to recreate your world. I used your perspective to create the world you and I want to see.**

Did...did I just do that? Is this city only real to me?

 **Maybe. Maybe only you can see it.**

 **Its all about perspective...isn't it?**

 **Maybe...Sayori's watching you right now...spacing out in your house...**

Yeah...this will come in handy.

 **But umm...**

Hmm?

 **Monika. I'm...trusting you to use this for the benefit of your world.**

 **Promise me. Promise me that...that you won't go crazy with this.**

 **Please, only use it as a last resort...**

I will. I promise.

 **Y-you could really ruin everything I've worked so hard to create for you-**

Chael. I promise. Only in desperate situations.

 **Okay. Good...**

T-Thank you.

...

Wait. Where is Yuri?

I squint harder at the shore, under the tree where we left our stuff.

There's no Yuri, sitting in her chair.

Where...where is she?

 _"S-Sayori...where do you think Yuri is?"_

 _"Probably gone to pee~"_

 _"In that building over there?"_

 _"Yeah! In that small windowless concrete bathroom by herself_

What?

 _"Psshh! Don't worry Mon! What could possibly go wrong?"_

Oh no...oh no oh no oh no.

Get out. GET OUT. NOW.

RUN.

SCREAM.

JUST

DO

SOMETHING

 _"Monday? You can pee in the ocean you know~"_

 _"THIS ISN'T FUNNY. YURI'S IN DANGER!"_

 _"How do you know?"_

FUCK

I

DON'T

HAVE

TIME

FOR

THIS

Okay. Calm down. I don't hear anything.

Just

gently

open

the

door.

Don't

make

a

sound

and

no no no

is it?

am i

i'm too late

undo undo undo

UNDO UNDO UNDO

GO BACK

CHAEL?

WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!

w-where...where are you...

you know what

it's not your fault

it's mine

the glitches theyre everywhere

again

but im too late

its already been done

wait

she's saying something

she's saying

...kill me

...

Should I forget? Do I want to forget? Well, obviously the answer would be yes but...my logical side is telling me not to. What good will come out of remembering? What good does remembering Caleb, and all of my friends...die? Right before my eyes, in my arms...

She doesn't deserve to be remembered like that. What happened to her...should be forgotten. Deleted. Forever, and thrown into the abyss. So...why haven't I done it? Do it. Do it now. Forget. I know I can. I can close my eyes, and forget what happened.

But...I can't.

I don't know why.

Maybe...maybe so I can prevent it from happening.

Or maybe I just want to see their faces when I do the same to them.

Their bruised torso. Their bloodied necks.

Their traumatized eyes.

That's it.

I'll forget...after I do it.

The lump of metal on my back...I wonder what it is? It could be anything, the moment I reach out and grab it. It could be...a gun. No, too quick. Too easy. They deserve to die...a more...painful way. With a knife. I reach behind my back and pull it out, while still watching Natsuki and Sayori play happily in the water. They haven't called out to me yet...maybe because they can't see me. Not in their perspectives, they can't. But I hope some people do. I hope they see the knife, sucking their life away slowly, inch by inch. No...don't stop reading. I want you to know what's about to happen. They deserve it. They deserve worse.

The butterfly knife...its pretty. Like I imagined it to be. Like it belongs to Yuri. Perhaps...I saw this in her house once. Maybe I recreated it from memory. Maybe...

What the fuck?

S-Screams?

That's it. Its time. No more stalling. Let me describe it for you. Word by word.

I walk swiftly to the old, concrete building which one could call a bathroom. I gently push open the metal door, gently enough not to make a sound. And...Jesus. This is what happened before she...? Never mind. They know what they're about to do. And I know exactly what I'm gonna do. I stab his bulky body with my knife. He falls to the ceramic tiles, his screams echoing the lavatory. I see them look at me with anger, as they direct their weapons off of Yuri and onto me. They deserve...so much worse. You know what...I'll let Yuri decide as well. I know what she must feel like. I work my way across, left to right, screams constantly reverberating off the walls. Soon, they all lay limp, but breathing at our feet. At our mercy. She takes the knife from my hands, and begins to...oh my God...Yuri...I-I'm so sorry. The way that you make them scream...makes me want to put them out of their misery. I sit down, slumped against the cold, concrete wall and just...watch. Watch as she coarsely slashes through flesh, making my ears hurt. Oh...ah...well, I guess you took care of the sound problem now. No more echoing. Just...meaty slashes...with your occasional grunt of anger, your years of pent-up hatred. I've never heard her swear that much in her life. Eh...what does it matter anyway. I'll be forgetting all this the moment I walk out that door. And so will she.

 _"Ahem...are you done?"_

She drops the knife and falls to the ground, sobbing into her bloodied hands.

 _"Good work Yuri."_

 _"...h-how c-can I be...SO STUPID..."_

I get up from my spot and crouch next to the kneeling, sobbing Yuri. I do up her buttons, and begin to wipe the blood off her face with a tissue.

 _"Shh...it wasn't your fault."_

 _"...yes...it was...I-I...I fell asleep...stupid...STUPID FUCKING YURI..."_

She buries her face in her hands and a waterfall of tears leak out of it. Hmm...maybe if I tell her a story...she'll feel better.

 _"D-Do you know about Chael?,"_ I whisper quietly.

She shakes her head, her face resting in my hands.

 _"He made this world. He made it as perfect as it could be."_

 _"...t-then...why..."_

 _"Because sometimes...you can't erase the past..."_

 _"...no..."_

 _"As hard as he tried...he couldn't protect his creation forever. He had to go."_

Yuri nods understandingly, tears still leaking from her eyes.

 _"So...he made me do it."_

 _"...y-you can do...what...go back in time?,"_ Yuri says as she smiles and slightly looks up in my eyes.

 _"I can make it look that way. It's all about perspective."_

I reach around her back and pull out a pristine copy of Portrait of Markov. I know I shouldn't be using it for magic tricks...but it'll help Yuri. I promise.

 _"...w-wha...how did..."_

She holds the book in her hands and inspects it thoroughly. Feeling the cover of the book, flipping through its legible pages before looking up at me with awe.

 _"Y-You can protect us...,"_ she squeaks. _"W-We can do anything!"_

 _"Hehe...first let's go home...~,"_ I giggle.


	25. Chapter 25

Hi!~Are you reading this? Good.

During my time here in this program, I've been really...really confused. Most days I would be miserable for no apparent reason, while some days I would be happily eating lunch with Sayori...or something. It was only as the mistakes of the past leaked into our present that I began to understand. That we began to understand. Caleb and I. We understood how hard Chael worked to protect us, and to give us a happy story to live in. A happy, peaceful world, with a good ending. His reason for living, we realized. I loved him, and he loved me; not in like a romantic way, but our own mutual respect for each other is what really kept this story going.

He gave me a fresh start, and I did the same.

He protected me for years, and so I tried my best to do the same.

Its hard for me to grasp that the little voice in my head could prevent the deaths of all of my friends. And now...I can't believe I'm starting to cry~ And now...he's happily living in his world. I guess you could say, we created each other's worlds~! With a wife and children...although if he forgets about me I'll be kind of upset~

So why am I saying all this? Well, I just wanted to say...thank you. For reading our adventures together. Yes...you. The one reading. Whether its being written out as I speak, or transcribed onto some smart professor's website...just...thanks~

You got this far, and I think you deserve a happy ending. After everything we've been through together. Haha...I just realized I could be saying all this, to literally no-one right now. My voice sounds so weird, echoing around in my room. Like...imagine if you got up right now and starting talking to yourself; not even that, but to someone you think has been watching you ever since birth. Or you know...whenever this story started. Probably when I was eighteen or so. Anyways, doesn't matter...let's move on~

Did you know I'm a vegetarian? Haha...just wanted to reference that before the story ends. I hope you remembered Caleb spitting out that plastic veggie bacon that day I made him breakfast. So cute~ I hope you'll read more about our adventures together. Wait...

What if...that doesn't happen? What if...I just got unplugged...right now? Would I just cease to exist? I mean, I remember Chael telling me that: if the program were to stop, everything related to its contents would be deleted. So...I guess I'm hanging by a thread here (unintentional pun). J-Just remember that...if I stop being written, don't automatically assume I died, okay? Just erm...taking a break.

Also, I reckon you're kinda curious to know whether I chose to forget about what happened to Yuri? Well first off, I found out its just temporary. As I said, you can't really delete the past, so the memories just sort of...get covered by other stuff. J-Just assuming~!

But no...I didn't. A-And I have my own reasons.

Here, let me finish up my rant here before Sayori comes bursting through my door, telling me to shut up~! Umm...yeah...thank you - dear reader. You really came this far huh? J-Just don't expect some mega-big reward at the end okay?~ Goodnight, stay safe~


	26. Chapter 26

Hey~ Did you read that long paragraph I ranted about?

 **It took me a while, but I found it.**

 **Its nice that you're thanking whoever is reading our adventures together~**

Anything to inform those living in a different universe than me~

 **Really? I hope you don't mind, but erm...I uploaded some of the text generated by us to a certain website.**

How did you do that? Without copy/pasting?

 **Haha...there goes my weekends...laughing at how sad I am~**

No way~! You really are sad!

 **Hehe...my family helped a little bit as well.**

Aww...I can imagine...

Hey...did you like...alter anything by any chance?

 **Well yeah...I got rid of the sex stuff because...well...**

Good call~

 **And uhh...I got rid of your actually random thoughts which in any way is not beneficial to the story~**

Hey~! I think meat pies are pretty efficient to be honest~

 **Apart from those, I...you know...tidied up the format a bit...split it into chapters and gave it a title.**

What's it called?

 **It's called...okay-just don't laugh...okay?**

I promise~

 **Sigh...it's called..."The Window Between Two Realities".**

Huh...you know what? That's actually...

Pretty fitting to be honest~

It is a bit like a window...you know with the monitors and stuff...

 **Yeah...so that's what I did for the weekends. You?**

Ehh...not much~ oh! We played paint-ball on Sunday - that was pretty fun!

 **With everyone?**

Mhm. Everyone. Caleb included~

Oh man...he got drenched in red paint~

 **Ah...thank you~**

No! Thank YOU!

 **Never! Thank you!**

You helped me first!

...

Hello?

 **Sorry! Had a little...accident with the baby...**

Yup, I can totally relate~ Hey, by the way, his or her name?~

 **Ho ho! I'm glad you asked...her name is...**

Is...?

 **...Mia.**

Please~ my heart~

I NEED TO HUG YOU~!

 **Oh man...should I include this in the story?**

Totally! Oh and uhh...make sure to credit Dan and Team Salvato and add the violence tags and stuff~

 **I will - see you soon Monday~**

Mo-ni-ka! See you later, dear Chael~


	27. Chapter 27

**So yeah...I guess that's the end to that story I suppose. To whoever made it this far in - what, twenty to twenty five chapters or something? I congratulate you. Hope you enjoyed~ I'll be sure to add the tags about violence and rape soon. Its so disturbingly accurate how my brother's program could depict real life society...**

 **Ahh...just messing with you. If there really was a program that could write down all of Monika's thoughts, then I don't think I would be where I am today. Although, most of it is based off of experiences that I've been through in my life. Not really gonna dig deeper on that, but give you that happy ending you always wanted...right? I hope you came this far for it. The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Well, I'll be sure to type down the highlights of Monika's life and create some more chapters - which could do as a happy ending. I guess.**

 **On a more serious note, fellow reader...are you okay?**

 **Seriously, how happy have you been today?**

 **Because, it can really help to talk to someone.**

 **Even...made up people in made up worlds~**


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